Ball Game

TELL ME IF THIS makes any sense at all. You buy a ticket to an Orioles game. You get a terrific seat, too, right around home plate, the kind of seat for which most fans would cheerfully sacrifice an arm to a wood-chipper. Then you spend the whole game on your cell phone, waving in the background when the TV cameras zoom in on the batter and shouting to your friends watching at home: "Can you see me?! You can?! THEY CAN SEE ME!" Oh, yeah, we can see you, all right. And to tell you the truth, we're kind of sick of you. In fact, we're kind of hoping someone whacks you with a rolled-up game program so you'd cut that out. OK, fine, the idea of fans trying to get on-camera at sports events is nothing new. That's why you see so many knuckleheads in the stands holding up what they think are clever signs -- "JAVY WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

With the success of Ben Stiller's new hit comedy, Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, what may be America's most controversial childhood game has suddenly been thrust back into the spotlight. Years ago, an uprising against the old gym class staple, in which students use other students as human targets, prompted many schools to ban dodge ball. Since then, it seems, the game has lived on only in the memories of its victors and victims, banished to the realm of such barbaric practices as mandatory home economics courses for girls, shop for boys, and communal showers in the locker rooms.

HERE'S A news bulletin you'll no doubt find shocking. That fan who leaped out of the stands in Chicago the other day and attacked the umpire? He'd been drinking. No, check that. This guy was doing more than drinking. This guy was practically hooked up to a Bud Light IV drip. According to the Chicago newspapers, Eric Dybas told police he'd been drinking all day, including at a Cubs game he'd attended earlier. Then once he got to the White Sox game, he downed another five or six beers - presumably just to be sociable.

Major League Baseball has returned to the nation's stadiums, but you don't have to find a game on TNT or ESPN to enjoy a more controlling interest in the sport. Just put in one of the latest offerings from the video game industry and run your own team. This year, we took a look at six offerings on deck for the Microsoft Xbox, Sony PlayStation2 (and original PlayStation), Nintendo GameCube and GameBoy Advance and PCs. Most of the games this year offer some sort of challenge for a full summer of play.

Before the snow storm and after the guy in Section 69 hollered "Kill Saddam!," Opening Day 2003 was a predictable affair of the baseball fan's heart. Then, things got a little weird. Here's the run-down: Gates opened: Noon. Orioles batting practice: From 12:25 to 1:25 p.m. Guy changed into freshly minted "Opening Day 2003" sweatshirt in front of Daily Grind window: 1:26 p.m. (Weather update: Cold, yes ma'am, but unstoppable fans march toward Oriole Park - "a certain kind of rest area or safe area," as Oriole manager Mike Hargrove this week called home field.

WILMINGTON, N.C. - Washington Wizards coach Doug Collins has devoted a good part of the first few days of this year's training camp toward teaching his players that playing defense is important. Collins is also working on getting through to the group that the sky is blue, grass is green, and to make sure not to throw a red shirt into the washer with the underwear. OK, so maybe things aren't quite that basic, but the coach wants to be sure that the Wizards, who were a decent, but not spectacular, defensive team last season, play defense well enough this year to make the offense better.

No. 15 Lake Clifton advanced to the Class 4A North region championship game, defeating host and No. 7 Walbrook, 53-52, in overtime last night. The Lakers will get to defend their title against No. 14 Mervo tomorrow, with the winner going to the University of Maryland Thursday for the state semifinals. Mervo defeated Woodlawn, 73-57, in another region semifinal last night. Lake Clifton lost to Mervo a couple of weeks ago. Junior forward Tavon Nelson scored seven of his game-high 21 points in the overtime period for the Lakers (16-9)

The National Endowment for the Arts and the Recording Association of America recently released its list of the top songs of the past century, and a baseball ditty came in way up at No. 8. "Thank God, I'm a Country Boy," it's not. Thank god. Instead, it's ... drum roll, please - or rather organ music, please ... "Take Me Out to the Ball Game." ESPN.com's Jayson Stark notes that baseball finished 20 spots higher on the list than the Beatles and beat out Bruce Springsteen by 51 places, Elvis Presley by 60 and Bob Dylan by 84. Some baseball people were befuddled by the strong showing of the song written in 1908 by Jack Norworth, who likely never saw a game of base ball (yes, it was two words back then)

They play the game just as the big boys do, only the ball is a little smaller, and sometimes they need to find a baby-sitter before going to practice. Otherwise, everything is the same -- helmets, pads, ankles taped before each game. They block, they tackle, they run post patterns. Their coach barks at them: "Come on, man, drive, drive!" They even have a 270-pound defensive tackle known as "Goose." It's full-contact football -- "Oh, yeah, smash-mouth football," says Sun photographer Karl Merton Ferron -- played by women daring into an arena of sport heretofore designated male-only.

WASHINGTON -- The Memphis Red Sox, a T-ball team composed mostly of first- and second-graders, were to take the field on the South Lawn of the White House. President Bush would be watching each play and every at-bat. But the message from the Washington team's manager, Quintin Thomas Sr., to his 17 pint-sized players was to focus on fundamentals -- throwing, catching and keeping eyes on the ball until making contact. "I tried to keep it that way," Thomas said, "so the kids didn't get caught up in what a big deal this was."