Andy Griffith

I am armed. If need be, I could rescue a 6-year-old kid from a closet and never once point my weapon at him. Don't need to. One look and even an AP photographer would run for cover. Because the world knows this: Never mess with a man with an Old Timer pocketknife. I wasn't always armed with an Old Timer pocketknife. For 40 years, I had foolishly waded through life without one. Even when my father-in-law, an old timer in his own right, presented me my first Old Timer pocketknife in 1987, I chose not to heed his profound words.

MOUNT AIRY, N.C. -- Ralph Epperson, the founder of WPAQ-740 AM, is telling a story about how he and the community once tried to give the radio station a name to go with its call letters. "We actually held a contest, but we never got anything that seemed to suit." Someone suggested that WPAQ might stand for "We Piddle Around Quietly," Epperson says, chuckling. "I don't think that was what we were looking for." So the station, which began broadcasting Feb. 2, 1948, became known as the Voice of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

"Mayberry 101: Behind the Scenes of a TV Classic, Vol. 1," by Neal Brower. John F. Blair. 507 pages. $14.95. I'm a Goober and have been since I was 8. Goobers are fans (or fanatics) of "The Andy Griffith Show," and I thought everything of significance about the show had been documented until I read Neal Brower's "Mayberry 101: Behind the Scenes of a TV Classic, Vol. 1."Brower, a United Methodist minister and a confessed, card-carrying Goober, was a contributing columnist to the Bullet, the official newsletter of The Andy Griffith Show Rerun Watchers Club, which is distributed to 15,000 members worldwide.

In Mount Airy, N.C., Andy Griffith's boyhood slingshot is kept under glass, along with a suit he wore on television, several of his old comedy records, and a wrapper from an authentic Andy Griffith Whole Hog Sausage.This Southern speck of a city is the actor's birthplace -- and the inspiration for his enduring creation, the friendly TV town of Mayberry, home to Aunt Bee, Barney, and Floyd the barber.But if you want to linger over the mementos at the Andy Griffith Museum, pick some time other than September.

If you hunger for solitude, peacefulness and a place that whisks you away from it all, then come to Mayberry, a hamlet between Westminster and Taneytown in northwest Carroll County.Mayberry is the kind of place where you'd expect to find an inn or bed and breakfast, but oddly enough there isn't one. Nevertheless, the neighborhood is a country classic, with winding lanes, mountain views, meandering creeks, galloping horses, lazing cows and wildflowers growing everywhere. It's a place to unwind.

Andy Griffith and Tom Selleck, returning to TV the same night? Must be some kind of planetary convergence or something."Friends" (8 p.m.-8: 30 p.m., WBAL, Channel 11) -- Look who's back it's our old pal, Tom Selleck, a k a Monica's ex-boyfriend Richard. The two meet up again at the video store and start debating whether they can remain friends. Provided Selleck can fit the occasional guest appearance into his schedule, maybe they can. NBC."High Incident" (8 p.m.-9 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- El Camino's finest are out to stop a gang of thieves who not only break into homes but torture the people living there.

Most of the action tonight is on cable, but CBS has a notable way to attack the competition: Make it brief, as in the broadcast TV premiere of 1993's "The Pelican Brief.""Ellen" (8 p.m.-8: 30 p.m., WMAR, Channel 2) -- On this week's Thanksgiving episode of "Ellen," the turkey comes out -- of the oven, that is. Meanwhile, guess who's coming to dinner? A homeless man, played by "SCTV" veteran Joe Flaherty. ABC."The Pelican Brief" (8 p.m.-11 p.m., WJZ, Channel 13) -- Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington are very good as the noble leads in this John Grisham thriller, but don't downplay the performances or impact of the supporting cast, especially John Lithgow and John Heard.

Go figure. "Spy Hard" laboriously parodies at least a dozen thrillers and even finds room to accommodate Michael Jackson's flaming hair -- which was on an ad shoot, for crying out loud -- but the one movie it passes on is "Die Hard," the basis of its title. Huh? Are there any grown-ups left in Hollywood?The film is itself more a parody of a parody than a parody, if you can follow my Talmudic thinking: It's a lamer, duller version of the famous "Airplane" and "Naked Gun" movies, those brilliant spoof-dense mockeries of popular movie genres.

Super Bowl Sunday? Steelers vs. Cowboys? Football?So what?If that pretty much sums up your feelings about the big game, despair not: Appearances to the contrary, TV programmers have not forgotten you today.* Interested in a real battle royale? A&E will be featuring our favorite battling Brits, Charles and Diana, in separate two-hour editions of "Biography.""Charles: The Private Man, the Public Role," airing from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m., is the English documentary in which the prince first admitted that he had been faithful to Diana only "until it became clear that the marriage had irretrievably broken down."

It's a night of oldies -- or at least new oldies. "Flipper" has a new show, Oliver North re-surfaces in a fictional role, and Andy Griffith and the Mayberry gang are featured in a cable marathon.* "Flipper" (5 p.m.-6 p.m., WBFF, Channel 45) -- The dynamic dolphin's back! Of course, the aquatic mammal playing the part is new, and so are the humans. But this syndicated show is a new version of the 1964-1967 series about a Florida Keys family.* "Nova: What's New About Menopause" (6 p.m.-7 p.m., MPT, Channels 22, 67)