Absurd

This is truly absurd ("City won't pay lead damages" April 3.) What are the mothers and fathers of children affected with lead poisoning to do? How long will the children stricken with lead poisoning, going to survive? What about the medical costs? This aliment came from some landlord too lazy to fix the paint problem before renting these homes to residents. What other recourse do these people have? Anyone who understands HUD should know that it's all about the numbers!

In the annals of great ripoffs in Baltimore City history, this one surely has earned its place -- first, for the facts surrounding the waste of taxpayer money, and now for its sheer absurdity.   My former Examiner co-worker, Stephen Janis (who now runs the investigative reporting website Investigative Voice and occasionally freelances for b , among other projects) broke this story in 2010:  The city government paid a Department of Public Works employee nearly $13,000 in sick pay while he was in jail serving an eight-month sentence after being convicted of a sex offense.  Yes, really.

Please allow me (or "myself" as Mike Myers famously said ) to introduce myself. Those of you who have been reading Baltimore-area newspapers for the past decade might (or might not) recognize my byline (I've written articles for The Sun, The Examiner, the Howard County Times, etc.) but this is my first attempt at a regular blog. We're calling it the Ridiculous Report and, on it, I plan to show on a frequent basis how common sense is often lost in our discussions of politics, government and the news in general.

The expression In vino veritas roughly translates from Latin into "in wine, there is truth. " Pliny the Elder, the Roman author who first turned the phrase, was observing how alcohol can loosen the tongue and cause people to reveal things they might not have intended. One might also note that allegedly independent reports on wine shipping can be revealing too. Comptroller Peter Franchot's lengthy missive on the topic — released last week — reveals not only how nonsensical are many of the objections to direct shipment to Maryland consumers, but also how resistant his own agency is to endorsing needed reforms.

Now that the midterm elections are over, political junkies are experiencing painful withdrawal symptoms that include loitering at the site of their local polling place, re-watching candidate debates recorded on Tivo and leafing through old editions of the Cook Political Report. But why should the political absurdity end with Election Day? Here are a few scenarios to watch for in the days and weeks ahead that might help the politically addicted — you know who you are — to get over their post-election blues (or post-election reds, if they are Democrats)

Spending two hours in a mobbed MVA "Express" office in Columbia is bad enough, and for an 80-year-old woman who needs a bathroom, there's no place to go but the deli next door. Brierley Carroll, who lives in the Charlestown retirement complex in Catonsville, said she couldn't take the wait, so she took a manager's suggestion that she go next door to Columbia's Best Deli. She finds the lack of bathroom facilities for such large crowds "ridiculous, absurd. " Carroll said the MVA needs to provide a bathroom even if it's a porta-potty on the parking lot. "It needs to be done.

"It's not economical to go to bed early to save candles -- if the result is twins." Improbably, this ancient Chinese proverb holds an important recommendation for Maryland's budget today. Currently, our state offers low-to-moderate-income pregnant women extensive health care coverage through our Maryland Medical Assistance Program. We also make comprehensive family planning services available for these same women -- but only after they have already given birth. That's right: Maryland only offers family planning for women who have already started a family.

A Baltimore County man who has been implicated by the Web site The Smoking Gun as a key informant in baseball's steroid scandal has denied any association with the federal government's investigation into illegal performance-enhancing drugs. In an exclusive interview with The Baltimore Sun yesterday, Andrew Michael "Mike" Bogdan admitted to helping the FBI in a real-estate fraud case as part of a plea agreement. But he said he did not use his close friendship with former Orioles outfielder Larry Bigbie to assist the FBI in nabbing one of baseball's primary steroid distributors.

For a split-second in last night's goofy third inning at Camden Yards, the Orioles had to wonder whether their hottest hitter would be getting an extended seat on the bench. Third baseman Melvin Mora took a fastball from Boston Red Sox rookie Clay Buchholz off his left hand and immediately writhed in pain. But Mora, who has been plunked a team-leading 10 times this season, jogged to first base and, eventually, delivered another game-changing performance, something he has done routinely in the season's second half.

Sixteen final thoughts about the Brett Favre saga, and I do mean final. (Subject to complete reversal of plans later.) *With so many NFL teams having huge quarterback problems - including the Ravens - and with statistically the best quarterback in NFL history suddenly available, it's telling that so many of those teams - including the Ravens - said, "Thanks, but no thanks." And the Ravens once traded for Terrell Owens. *There are subtle signs that this was far from a no-brainer for the New York Jets, either.