Totes adorkable

July 30, 2014|By John E. McIntyre | The Baltimore Sun

Many people find slang annoying; that’s as it should be.

Thieves have argot, the language in which they conduct their business privately. Professionals have jargon, by which they identify qualified colleagues. Teens and hipsters have slang to separate those who are in the group from those who are not.

So if slang annoys you, it’s supposed to. It makes clear that you are an outsider, that you are not with it. 

But outsiders also have their weapons, and you and I, the hopelessly unhip, can wield slang itself as a counterattack.

Attend: Yo, when you conversate with your baby daddies and baby mamas, you can drive hipsters so totes totes cray cray it’s amazeballs. Chillax, bros, you got the verbage, and it’s to die for.

They beauty part is that you don’t have to be accurate or up to date. In fact, it’s probably better if you have the words but not the tune. Merely using the words sends a signal as unmistakable as being friended on Facebook by your grandmother: It’s OVER.

When we, the stodgy unhip, use a slang term or expression, that shows that it has crossed over to the wrong people. Our using it hammers another nail in the coffin.

If you don’t like it, use it. That’ll kill it. 

NOTE: I read this post on Sheilah Kast's Maryland Morning program on WYPR-FM. For a time, a link to the segment will be available at the Maryland Morning website. 

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