'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap, Cleanses, grudges and name-dropping

  • Taylor is either stunned by some insane thing someone said or there's a large spider on the floor, slowly crawling toward her Manolo Blahnik.
Taylor is either stunned by some insane thing someone said or… (Bravo )
January 15, 2013|By Lauren McEwen

After her meeting with Scheana, Brandi sits down with Lisa to process it all. She almost feels sorry for Scheana, despite the fact that she continued to sleep with Eddie after discovering that Brandi was pregnant.

But Brandi's being mature about it. It was his choice to leave. Scheana didn't twist his arm. But Brandi is trying to be strong and hold on. Kudos to her.

Kyle visits Yolanda after suddenly remembering she's on this show, too. Yo Yo's collecting honey from her bee hives -- of freaking course -- and Kyle is not trying to get anywhere near all of that.

Get this: Not only does Yolanda make her own honey, but she also grows lavender and has an actual lemon grove in her backyard. Because she got so obsessed with the master cleanse the first time she did it, she decided she always wanted to have organic lemons on hand. There is no way her family goes through all of those things. If she doesn't donate the leftovers, I'm done with Yolanda forever.

She's teaching Kyle how to make the master cleanse concoction because Kyle's on a mission to lose weight -- at least until she gets back home. Yolanda asks her about Kim, who she has invited to try the cleanse three times. Yeah, I bet your old friends were just lining up to do that, Yolanda.

Aww. Sweet Childhood Story Time! When Kyle was little, she thought Kim really had magic powers because of her role in "Escape to Witch Mountain." Kim really looked after her, but when they fight, it gets intense.

Yolanda gives Kyle some good advice about forgiving her sister and making sure she's there for her. But between the stupid fedora she's wearing and her constantly pushing the master cleanse, it's hard to take her seriously. Why are we repeating the fashion mistakes of the early 2000s?

Kim's life coach, Gary, meets her at home. They've been working together for about five years and he can tell that she's on the right track. Kim is coming to grips with the fact that Kyle really pushes her buttons. She feels like Kyle isn't the same person, but Gary insists that it's her seeing it with sober eyes.

She hasn't gotten over the fact that Kyle decided to call her out on her alcoholism in public instead of pulling her aside. Gary believes that Kyle thought rehab would be a magical fix for Kim, erasing the years of pain that came with her addiction.

Lisa heads over to Villa Blanca to meet with the executive chef while Ken prepares a little surprise for her. At first glance it looks like a mess of pink roses and ribbons, but it turns out to be this awesome swing, a bed of roses in the shape of a heart and a little chair for the dog. It's just like the swing in the backyard when they were first married 30 years ago. And he wants to renew their vows. In short, Ken's a keeper.

Kyle plans yet another dinner party to give Marissa another chance to get to know the girls. For some reason, she's still pretending that there's anything functional about their friendships. Except for Lisa and Brandi. They're BFFS, dawg. Fortunately, Adrienne and Paul skipped town, so they can't make it. Really loving this break from them.

But enough of this love and positivity! Paul and Adrienne are suing Brandi. Basically, Brandi has to meet with them to sign a document stating that she will never talk about the Maloofs again.

This is getting serious. According to about five gossip blogs, Brandi, Bravo and the Maloofs are all staying mum about whatever Brandi said all of those episodes ago. Plus, Adrienne has even been threatening to leave the show. No tears spilled about that, but what kind of lethal gossip caused this huge of a fallout?

The online rumor mill suggests that it has something to do with the Maloof children. Allegations that Adrienne may have used a surrogate seem to be the most popular. But that would be silly. There's no stigma around using a surrogate anymore, is there?

It's more likely about the rumors that Paul and Adrienne are headed for divorce. But does any of that actually warrant suing Brandi? She's not the first person to suggest that they are dunzo. And she won't be the last.

Back to the party. The rest of the gang shows up, and after the obligatory "You look great" comments are exchanged, Yolanda pointedly tells Kim that she and Kyle met up to get their cleanse on. Tension starts building on impact. Kim doesn't remember being invited to Yolanda's, or at least she doesn't remember setting a concrete date.

Kim shuts down, saying she doesn't want to do the master cleanse because her body can't take it. If she doesn't want to do it, she just shouldn't do it. Simple. Luckily she's saved by the belly dancers in what was one of the most awkward 30 seconds of this season. Did Mauricio really put a dollar down Kyle's dress on national television? Their poor children.

Baltimore Sun Articles
Please note the green-lined linked article text has been applied commercially without any involvement from our newsroom editors, reporters or any other editorial staff.