'Dancing With the Stars All-Stars' finale, Melissa and Tony win it all

  • Confetti rains down as Melissa and Tony reign supreme.
Confetti rains down as Melissa and Tony reign supreme. (ABC )
November 28, 2012|By Amy Watts

So, here we are. Big finale night.

At the beginning of the season I was pretty sure we'd be seeing Shawn tonight, but Melissa and Kelly are somewhat of a surprise. I'm also surprised by how much I've turned around on Kelly Monaco -- I would've ranked her one of my least favorite at the beginning of the season and now she's the one I hope wins it all.

I'm going to tell y'all straight out -- I'm not going to recap the replays of stuff from earlier in the season. You've seen it, I've seen it, I've written about it, you've read about it. Let's just cover the new footage here.

The night starts with all the All-Star season stars doing a new routine to James Brown. It's a fun start to the night and unless it's one of his overplayed hits, I'm always ok with some James Brown. Apparently that was choreographed by Lacey Schwimmer.

They show the footage and reactions to judging from last night and there's not much to note. Shawn & Derek get the encore, which, duh, of course you're going to bring the Olympic gymnasts back again.

And now it's time for DanceCenter. Selected moments:

Kenny Mayne: Kirstie's admitted she can't keep her hands off Maks, but then again Maks can't keep his hands off Max. [And bless the editors, they found plenty of footage to back Kenny up.]

Kenny: Bristol took Mark to a gun range this year. Unfortunately she missed.

A montage of Mark puffing out his chest after various routines, after Kenny deadpanned that Mark doesn't want to make the routines about him.

Jerry Rice on Sabrina's shocking elimination: I know it was shocking because Tom and Brooke wouldn't stop talking about it.

So, now is the time to pick the "instant dance." Kelly and Val go first and get the "Cat & Mouse" jive. There's a slight pause as Tom explains "One of these very expensive props just came apart" so he has to fix the little mirror ball before the next couple comes to pick their dance.

Melissa and Tony don't want to pull the cha cha. And they do pull the samba and "Life Is a Highway." So what's left for Shawn and Derek is the cha cha to "Respect."

Bristol and Mark are the first kicked-off couple to get their encore dance. And then it's Pamela Anderson and Tristan. I forgot she was even on this year. I'm a heterosexual female so Pamela's dance isn't really meant for me.

And then Tom quips, "Usually to see something like that, there's a two-drink minimum." I love him so much. 

Clip package of Helio and Chelsea and their language difficulties. She tries to teach him the alphabet song and it's kind of cute. And then they do their dance. I'm still sad we lost Helio as early as we did. He's one of those people that when he smiles I smile.

Drew Lachey is adding his daughter Isabella to his encore cha cha with Anna. So cute! Tom says, "I usually try to stay impartial but this was my favorite routine in dress rehearsal." They start out and it's kind of a sexy routine -- I hope it gets toned down before the little girl comes out to dance with her daddy.

Drew pull her off the sidelines and does a couple of lifts with her. And then she gets a little solo move and then Anna dances with her. Then they all three dance together and it's just too too cute. Tom points out that when Drew won the mirrorball back in Season 2, Isabella wasn't even in born yet.

The blooper/outtake reel from the backstage confessional room is pretty amusing. But shouldn't the confessional be sacred? Anyway, there's swearing and hair fixing and boob-wrangling and all sorts of "look at my gross feet" shenanigans.

OhhelpmeRhonda. They've brought back the Guilty Pleasure group routines. With subs for the finalists. Gangnam Style is up first and I'm going to lose my mind all over again.

It looks like it's Joey Fatone (and I presume Kym) filling in for Kelly and Val. Joey's wearing a cut off mesh shirt and at the end of their bit, he does this whole body spasm thing that makes the flab on his stomach jiggle and it made me hoot with laughter. And Gilles is back with his Tiny Towel. OH, Tiny Towel! I didn't know how much I missed you until you were gone. Tiny Towel should've been a finalist all on its own. 

Tom quips, "You know the first time I saw that I didn't think it made sense, but now that I've seen it a second time I realize I was right the first time." Embrace the bizarre, Tom. It makes life easier.

Brooke is outside the studio in Kelly & Val's makeshift rehearsal space. Val's sweaty and shirtless so you'll forgive me if I didn't pay attention to what was being said.

Joey & Kym get a little bit where Joey uses a Delorean to get into the finals. It's a complete waste of time. Except for giving Tom an excuse to say, "It makes my flux capacitor tingle."

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