'Dancing With the Stars All Stars' recap, Fusion night and a marathon

  • This was not Kirstie's night.
This was not Kirstie's night. (ABC )
November 06, 2012|By Amy Watts

Last week: Sabrina got voted off and Carrie Ann acted like she'd been shot in the gut when Tom announced it.

Tonight is "fusion" night, aka you got your peanut butter in my chocolate. Oh, and there's going to be some sort of dance marathon. We start with the pros doing essentially a "Latin" melange.  

During the staircase introduction, Shawn walks down with both Derek and Mark, which is kind of cute. And Kirstie's done up like a beer wench/pirate. Heaven help us all.

First up is a montage from the judges which I will sum up in a short sentence for you: Fusion is mixing two dance styles, which may be quite different from one another, in a single routine. There. I just saved you about 5 minutes of fluff.

Apolo Anton Ohno & Karina Smirnoff: Paso Doble/Cha Cha

During rehearsal, Apolo makes the point that, like in racing, it doesn't matter if you lead the first six laps, it's all about where you finish. 

The weird thing about fusion night, I just realized, is going to be music that works for both styles. Anyway, Apolo is wearing a white jacket, with no shirt on underneath and his hair is so '90s it's ridiculous. Oooh, about halfway through the routine, there's a spotlight and a jet of steam and Apolo rips off his jacket. Apolo's got some GUNS, y'all.

Len says it's "Like looking in a mirror" to see Apolo shirtless. Len says it wasn't safe and it was crisp and clean and ends with "Apolo Ohno? I'm saying 'Oh, yes.'" Bruno compliments his jete and I like it when Bruno actually talks about dance. Carrie Ann points out that this is the first time Apolo's ever taken off his shirt during a performance. I hadn't realized it, but she's right.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 9

Before the results, Tom reminded us that the votes carry over to next week. And then added that there will be a double elimination next week. Another thing to blame on Sandy.

And then we get a brief parody of a political campaign ad. So. Much. Fluff. tonight.

Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke: Rumba/Samba

In rehearsal, Cheryl finds a way to very tactfully and diplomatically suggest to Emmitt that he needs to rehearse more so there won't be any missteps. We get to see Emmitt at home in Dallas and his children are adorable.

Emmitt is head to toe in shocking pink and he somehow makes it work. That's a manly man, there. I'm impressed with myself for being able to pick out the samba bits from the rumba bits in this routine.

Bruno says it was a "smooth and balanced blend" and goes on and on about how difficult it is to combined those two styles and that Emmitt did it effortlessly, despite some shoulder problems. Carrie Ann felt like his hip action was good, but his upper body needed work. Len jokes that he wore pink so he could take over for Emmitt in case of injury, but he's glad he didn't have to do that because he wouldn't have done it as well.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 8.5; Len: 9.5; Bruno: 9.5

Whoa, Carrie Ann really didn't like his upper body movement.

Kirstie Alley & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Quickstep/Samba

Kirstie got very emotional last week. And then she points out that a lot of times, the person that wins the mirrorball isn't the best dancer. And that she feels like she has good things to contribute to the show.  

She collected stuff to send to the East Coast for Hurricane Sandy victims and I appreciate the sentiment but the Red Cross wanted cash more than anything else. But, heart in the right place, blahblah.

Oh, ok, apparently Kirstie's outfit is supposed to be "medieval French maid." Huh. And Maks is the prince. They're dancing to Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke" (the "You can feel it all over" song) which is a perfect kind of choice for this fusion thing.

There are parts when it's clear Kirstie has no idea what she's doing and Maks is pushing her into the right moves. I applaud Kirstie's pluck as much as anybody, but she's really outlasted her deserved time on this season.

Carrie Ann says of Kirstie, "This is hard because your heart is so pure and so wonderful." If Carrie Ann were Southern, that would've been a "Bless your heart." She points out that the second half of the song fell apart. Len said the routine had good movement but that there were "one or two incidents." He calls it "an admirable effort." Bruno talks about her losing timing but that it's always great to watch her.

Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 8

Which even Kirstie admits is "generous." At least she can laugh at herself.

Kelly Monaco & Val Chmerkovskiy: Cha Cha/Foxtrot

There's a "Bachelor-style" interview with Val talking about his feelings and emotions and blurgh. And then Kelly says cryptic things that if you want, you can interpret as "OMG Kelly & Val are totally hooking up!" Or not.

Val And Kelly are gradually removing pieces of each other's costumes as the routine progresses. What's up with all the stripping tonight? Wow, can Kelly twist and turn. I'm amazed she's not dizzy.

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