Team Dominate, aka Abbie and Ryan. Swoon. (CBS )
An important thing happens on this week's episode of "The Amazing Race": I kind of fall in love with Abbie's Boyfriend. I know. Something else happens: We learn someone's drag queen name. I know! Let's just get on with it.
Farewell, Indonesia, fourth most populated country of the world with karmic pedicabs. Time to travel to Dhaka, Bangladesh, the most densely populated city in the world (according to Phil Keoghan's Twitter feed, which I absolutely believe).
Abbie and Her Boyfriend Ryan, Team Dominate, depart at 9:52 p.m. They take a cab to a travel agency. While in the cab, Ryan makes some kind of goofy, awkward hand gesture and triumphantly shouts, "First place, nerds!"
I know he's pretending to call everyone else nerds, but somehow I saw through that and decided that Ryan believes he is himself a nerd. He's not an Alpha Caveman, he's a dork who happens to be strong and good looking. Interesting.
The first flight to Bangladesh leaves in the morning, and everyone is on the same flight. Team Superfan calls the last leg the greatest comeback ever. I can think of several teams from past seasons who would disagree with that.
Bangladesh is a land of crowds, and people, and people crowded into crowds full of people. Mixed in with all of these people are cabs and buses and goats. It's the usual Race scene of teams wandering the streets looking for taxis and nearly getting killed in the process.
While in a cab, the Twins say, "This is third world Grand Theft Auto, plus bulls and goats and garbage and minus the nice cars."
Phil's First Drinking Game!
The first task is a Roadblock. One team member must "repair" a bus, which means filling in an entire side panel of a bus with putty of a desired consistency. Then they must sand the panel. The Twins are the only all-girl team, and thus Twin 2 is the only girl to take on the challenge.
Phil Tweets: "New game: Count how many times the Twins say Twinnies." You guys, it's a lot. The teams are working in close quarters out in the heat, and Twin 1 is cheering on Twin 2. She points out that they are the only girls, says, "We can't lose here, we're the only brownies, we have to win," and shouts "Come on, Twinnie" over and over.
Multiply that by the annoyance factor of a thousand hungry seagulls and a swarm of mosquitoes, then add the intensity of a stadium full of Justin Bieber fans and you might get the idea. During the sanding we also hear "Sand your [butt] off" and "Long, strong and hard!"
We get some nice reaction shots and interviews from other teams about how irritating this all was. Boyfriend Ryan does a nice impersonation, and he tries to implement a quiet time which is ignored. Abbie stands behind the cheering Twinnie and mimics shooting herself in the head. Their mockery makes me like them more.
Friends give friends a hand
Boyfriend Ryan furiously putties the bus and sweats profusely. He sweats through the detailed instructions of the clue, actually, so he doesn't know what to do after the putty. He forms a quick alliance with Chippendale James so that he can read a non-sweaty clue.
Meanwhile, James is very disheartened about his putty job. He mixed it too dry, or something, and ends up scraping it off and starting over. He loses it a little bit, interviewing later that he has a short fuse.
"We knew it was coming," Jaymes interjects. Abbie magically talks him off the ledge so he can calm down and finish. The Amazing Editors give her an extra twinkle sound as she smiles, because she is like a magical fairy princess. No wonder it's Team Abbie and Her Boyfriend, you just can't see anything beyond her.
Rock On! Now with more rats!
This leg had a Fast Forward, and curiously only one team went for it. The first few teams were like, "whatever, we're in the lead, let's just do the task," and the later teams were like, "it's probably already taken." At least that's what we were led to believe. In reality, the Fast Forward task is to walk around town collecting dead rats and delivering them to pest control.
Probably every other team was not in a good mental place to deal with rats. Enter Team Rock On: "Like we've never dealt with rats before in this business?!"
It's a long, hot walk gathering rats, but they collect a parade of local kids as they go, and they seem to be enjoying themselves. Then one of them accidentally steps in something unsanitary. Don't worry, he rinsed it off with water and then doused it in hand sanitizer, I'm sure he'll be fine.
Team Rock On, you are Team Number One! They win a vacation, like first place usually does. I only point it out because Phil described the trip, and then on Twitter said, "Yes I know you love the way I say SPA!" I love the way he says anything, actually, but I also love the he can joke about himself.
Whose mattress would you rather sleep on?
Skipping ahead to the Detour, teams can either pound metal with sledgehammers and help make a sharp spike, or pound cotton into tufts and then sew it into a mattress.