Who makes the cut on the guest list?

September 18, 2012|By Rachel Gatulis, Special to The Baltimore Sun

My fiance Andrew and I are currently averaging about 10 weddings per year, as guests It’s tough being 27, and EXPENSIVE. Anyway, we decided that our favorite weddings were those where we actually got to spend time with the bride and groom. After all, isn’t that why we are all there in the first place?  In order to do that, regardless of how close you think you are to the newlyweds, the number of guests you are essentially competing with has to be limited. With this in mind, how on earth do we trim down our 250 person “wish list”?

Initially, I was adamant about not having a “B” list. If I want you to be there on the big day, you are on the list. Period. There shouldn’t be any hesitation. Now that I actually have a budget to work with, I am singing a different tune.

Andrew and I decided on a rule for friends we would like to invite. If we haven’t spoken to you in person or on the phone in a year, you are not invited. It sounds really harsh but it also seemed like a really fair way to cut people.

I found that deleting the names as soon as I’ve made the “no” decision has been very beneficial to my conscience. Andrew, on the other hand, has insisted on moving the names to another tab on his beloved Excel spreadsheet. This tab is labeled “B list.”

No one told me creating a guest list for your wedding is essentially ranking the people closest to you. It is really unfair to all parties involved. I have caught myself lying about the last time I spoke to someone. Our rule was created to simplify things and to have a clear reason as to why someone was invited over another. This rule has also caused me undue stress. Of my eight high school friends, I am inviting six. Tell me this is not going to cause drama. But, how do I ask Andrew to adhere to the rule and not follow it myself?

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