TARA'S NEW JOB!: "You're a much better pole dancer than a bartender," Pam tells Tara at Fangtasia. Sure, she looks happy doing it. And vampires make good pole dancers (they get up to the top quickly!).
But Tara's new pole dancing happiness is shut down by a visit from her mother, Lettie Mae, who tells her that as a minister's wife, her vampire daughter is dead to her now.
As Tara usually does, she acts hard and bares her fangs. She later is found crying in Pam's office before Pam actually gives her a hug. Really, Pam hugged Tara. And Pam's hair, for some reason, was crimped.
POOR LAFAYETTE: He's saddled with a (yes, again) ridiculous storyline where he's trying to find out what's the deal with Jesus' head visiting him and trying to talk.
So sure, why not go to visit his crazy witchcraft family? He goes to the Chicken Shack and sees Jesus' head and his witchcraft uncle (grandfather? who cares) who says that Jesus betrayed his family when he gave Lafayette his magic power.
So he ties him up, sews his lips shut and says "my wife will drink the blood I collect from your brain." Instead the pregnant wife stabs her husband repeatedly and then cuts the stitches from Lafayette's lip. So ... that happened.
JASON GOES NUTS: Look Jason, I know it's a lot to deal with, learning that your parents were actually killed by vampires. But it doesn't give you the right to shoot Jessica in the head when she kisses you and you taste a strangers blood. Gross, sure. But don't go shooting her.
WHERE'S SOOKIE?: It's odd how Sookie has been pushed to the sideline this season. She learns from Claude that her fae powers are finite so she thinks about how awesome it will be to just be a normal human. She ends up shooting light out of her hands over and over again to perhaps get rid of it once and for all.
Yes, it's as boring as it sounds. On Twiiter, @BougieLa said, "I wish Sookie's power would malfunction and she d blow herself up."
My thoughts exactly.
MOST RANDOM SCENE: Andy is freaking out about these assassins, as though he's never had to deal with crazy stuff in Bon Temps before (Maryann the Bull anyone?), so he goes to the former sheriff for advice.
The sheriff doesn't want to help because he'd rather go in the hottub with his lady and try out a new male enhancement ointment.
Andy, just do your job. Because there's some really bad stuff happening. In the plot and from the writers.