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3 interns bring you the blow-by-blow details from TNA's BaseBrawl event

July 20, 2012|By Everett Cook, Zach Helfand and Steve Petrella


Everett 9:16 Aaaaannd we are back. Finally. Bobby Roode is taking on “The Icon,” Sting, who is 53(!) and is easily the crowd favorite. I have to ask, is wearing full face paint at age 53 a bit much? I immediately think of Seinfeld and David Putty: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fowd29dOyh0

Steve 9:19 Right you are Everett, Sting, white face and all, has this crowd behind him 100 percent. We’ll see if that plays a factor in this match.

Everett 9:22 Match is taking a while to get going. Both guys just sort of walking around. Roode is refusing to step into the ring, which I don’t understand considering his job is wrestling. Roode just tried to fight someone in the stands. And is very angry.

Zach 9:23 The fans aren’t too big on Roode. They’re serenading him with chants of “Austin Aires,” who beat Roode for the World Championship belt. Roode called it a fluke and told the crowd to shut up. Interesting tactic, we’ll see if the crowd responds to it.

Everett 9:27 Match begins with Roode giving Sting a pat down, like a TSA Agent. Could that be a new nickname? Now introducing Booby “Mr. TSA” Rooooooodddeeeee!

Steve 9:29 Perhaps the fans would respond better to him if that was in fact his nickname. Who doesn’t love getting harassed at airport security by the TSA? No one, that’s who.

Everett 9:28 Roode tries to walk away and now Sting is chasing after him with an event table. Or tried to, anyway. Sting settles for ramming Roode into the table instead of bashing him with it. What a kind soul. Also, Sting is balding. And his face paint is wearing off. From up in the booth, he looks a little like an old, creepy clown that should have stopped going to birthday parties and making balloons at least 10 years ago. But that’s just from my angle.

Zach 9:31 Roode is really working on Sting’s left knee. Just rammed in into the turnbuckle, and he has repeatedly kicked and elbowed it. Now he landed a dropkick right into the kneecap. Sting has got to be in all kinds of pain. Roode’s in complete control, and he just asked the crowd, “Who sucks now?” To which they replied “You do!”

Steve 9:36 Sting has now taken control of this match after Roode had his leg in an attempt to get him to tap out. He landed a few nice closelines and line gets the cover after slamming Roode to the mat. Sting is the winner, much to the liking of this crowd.

Zach 9:39 Main event coming up. If you can’t get excited for this, then I don’t know if you can get excited for anything.

 

TNA WORLD TITLE MATCH: Austin Aries vs. Bully Ray


Everett 9:41 Bully Ray is making advances to the sideline reporter. She doesn’t seem appreciative. The current world champion, Austin Aries takes the ring wearing a cape, belt, big cowboy boots, and not much else. The crowd seems to be split again here.

Steve 9:43 Bully Ray looks exactly what his name says. He looks like a bully. Like that very large kid in school that wore a cutoff everyday. Not fat, just big and pear shaped. And mean.

Zach 9:46 Aries is just toying with Bully. A moment ago, he just challenged him to an arm wrestling competition. When Bully got down on the mat to meet him, Aries just got up. So Bully told the ref to tell Aries to “cut it out.” Ref: “Cut it out!” Aries didn’t listen.

Steve 9:49 This match has gone back and forth, with Aries working Ray outside the ring for a while. Now, the Bully seems to be getting back into it a little.

Everett 9:49 For a world title match, this is so far the least interesting fight of the night. Not much going on. Aries is clearly the better wrestler and is just toying with Bully

Zach 9:51 Yeah Aries is really beating up Bully right now. After a flying dropkick from the turnbuckle, Bully staggered around, then dropped like a ton of bricks. Aries capitalized and put Bully in a submission hold. And he taps! That’s the match, and Aries retains the TNA World Title belt.

Everett 9:52 That was probably the least interesting match of the night. Aries dominated the whole time. My personal favorite was Robbie E vs. Rob Van Dam.

Everett 9:53 That wraps it up here from Aberdeen. I hope this was as fun for you as it was for us. Remember, anytime anyone offers you something called the “Brown Bag Special,” you have to take advantage of it.

Zach 9:53 Well this has most certainly been one of the more interesting nights of my life. Beer, big pony-tailed men, lots of spandex, even a little bit of fist pumping. In short, it had most, if not all, of the best elements of life. Sadly, the wooden announcers' table remains intact, but we’re glad you enjoyed this spectacle with us.

Steve 9:54 Thanks for reading along wrestling fans. If you made it all the way down to this comment, good for you. We saw some tables, some chairs, some ponchos and some great wrestling. If you’re still reading, you have the attention span of, someone with a great attention span. Hope you enjoyed our coverage from Aberdeen.

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