Tara (Rutina Wesley) is not having a good night. (HBO )
Being a new vampire ain't easy. And Tara's learning the hard way.
Escaping from Sookie's into the woods, Tara experiences vampire sensory overload — her vision is heightened, she can hear things very clearly. She can see the entire universe and stars above her, but can also see a creepy opossum in a tree.
She can also see a stranded motorist looking for help. She bears her fangs and approaches.
"Listen ... I ... have no problem with vampires," the woman begs.
Tara's not having it. She's hungry and pissed, so we grabs her neck and is about to sink her teeth in until she sees her reflection in the car window and backs away.
"I'm sorry," Tara says and backs off. Apparently, if you were a good person and had a soul before you turned vampire, that carries over into your new vampire conscience.
Tara's adjustment to her new life made up the bulk of this otherwise boring episode. Otherwise, we're saddled with the slow moving action over at the Authority, where the mainstreaming vs. non-mainstreaming debate rattles on (rebels who don't believe the Authority has all the right answers are called "Sanguinistas", we learn. Really?!)
But back to Tara. Sookie and Lafayette are freaking out looking for her, and Sookie turns to Pam, Tara's maker. Pam is too occupied with trying to find Eric (vampires can text on their phones really, really, really fast).
So Pam turns her down her request for help. "Get out of my bar before I suck you dry," Pam tells her, which unleashes the fairy-power rage in Sookie. The flashes of powerful light come out of Sookie's hands which pushes Pam way up against the wall of the bar.
Everyone stares. "Get back to dry humping each other and buying my over-priced drinks," Pam yells at her customers.
Pam is not in a good mood. But more on that later.
Tara has found refuge outside Merlotte's where she scares Sam. "Help me. I'm hungry," she tells him. She doesn't reveal exactly what happened to her, but she is binging on TruBlood drink before passes out. Is that the vampire form of getting wasted?
Sam decides to keep her in the Merlotte's walk-in refrigerator. Sookie later reads his thoughts and finds out where her best friend is.
"Is she OK?" she asks Sam.
"Hell no. She's a vampire," he responds.
"It's like keeping a pet alligator in a bathtub," Lafayette says about keeping Tara in the frig. True, I guess. It seems like these two need to come up with a better plan.
Eventually, Tara escapes (shock) and scares the hell out of everyone at Merlotte's (especially Arlene) when she shows her fangs. "All I can think about is ripping your throats. So stay away from me or I'll do it," Tara says before leaving. Again.
Alcide sees what happens, which forces Sookie to tell him the truth about what happened to Debbie Pelt (her parents, meanwhile, are in town looking for their daughter). Understandably, Alcide freaks out, feels betrayed by Sookie and won't tell her if he'll tell someone what she has done (my guess: he won't).
The most interesting consequence of the whole Tara situation is he deep depression. At the end of the episode, she breaks into a beauty parlor, gets into a tanning bed in the back and turns it on — vampire suicide.
She screams, Pam senses her vampire baby is in trouble and says, "Stupid b----." I'm assuming Pam will go and help her (she does have something of a kind heart), but where is the Tara plot line going here? Will she eventually forgive Sookie and Lafayette or terrorize (Tara-rize? heh.) the town?
I'm wondering if she'll eventually get adopted by an unfriendly vampire. They're still looking for Russell Edgington, right?
Meanwhile, at the sexy Authority: Roman has accepted Bill's and Eric's deal: they'll go hunt down Russell if he doesn't give them the True Death right then and there. The Chancellors are mostly furious at the decision (especially the annoying little boy who goes on and on about not negotiating with hostages. I hate that kid).
But it's a done deal. Eric and Bill are both outfitted with this device that will kill them if they try any funny business (it's called the iStake. Good work, Apple) and later both have sex with Salome.
Seriously, both are seduced by Chancellor Salome, who we learn in the Salome from the Bible (really). So weird and random. Roman later also has sex with Salome. So there's that. And there's a lot of chatting about how Roman loves him some vampire mainstreaming but some people don't and there's a war a'brewing. It's all very tedious.
On the other hand, we learn that the Authority recruited Steve Newlin to be on their side because he has influence over the religious right and can help them counteract the blow to mainstreaming if Russell decides to take over the airwaves again. Because Steve Newlin is trustworthy like that.