These Steve Newlin moments are hilarious and weird and campy and yet I can't get enough. But the question remains: Does he truly love Jason or does he have a more devious plan? Are the writers using him for comic relief, to portray a hypocritical closeted religious figure or both?
And now for the plot I don't care about at all: Once again, the Terry's PTSD reawakening as his former fellow Marine Patrick (Scott Foley) comes to town situation is ludicrous and boring.
Terry is having flashbacks to Iraq as though this is the first time his PTSD has been discussed in the series. Arlene is reacting as though she knows nothing of his inner-turmoil and Patrick is sitting alone in his hotel room generally being creepy.
"Did something happen in combat? Something that might have stuck with him," Arlene asks Patrick out of desperation. Really? Because nothing ever happens in combat that sticks with someone.
Eventually, Terry comes to see Patrick, tells him that a former comrade is still alive, "just off the grid," and the two decide that it could be him who is starting fires.
Everything still seems very disconnected from the rest of the Bon Temps action. Arlene (Carrie Preston) has never had a solid subplot (last season's dead ghost woman trying to steal her baby was beyond ridiculous, too) and Terry (Todd Lowe) is one of the most underutilized actors on the show.
They deserve better.
The most interesting moment: Seeing Pam flashback to when she first met Eric. Pam is trying to figure out why Eric has disappeared, so she begins remembering when the two first encountered each other.
In a great flashback, we see Pam working as a madam at a brothel in San Francisco in 1905 (nice red dresses!). She discovers one of her girls murdered and is later attacked by a Jack the Ripper-esque fellow herself.
Eric rushes in to save the day, slicing the throat of the would-be serial killer. Eric also looks great in a top hat, in case you were wondering about that.
"That is a lovely dress. Sorry about all the blood," Eric says after he licks his thumb.
He kindly gives Pam some coins to cover the dress cleaning and rushes off before she can get his name. We don't see him turn her, but hopefully that's coming. If she's not going to help Tara, we might as well learn more about Pam's past, right?
More highlights from 'Authority Always Wins'
Off the sauce: Andy and Jason find Debbie Pelt's car — and V inside. Recovering V addict Andy pockets the stuff at first, but then hands it over to Jason. "Good man," Jason says. We like clean and sober Andy.
Most random moment: A teenage boy punching Jason because he slept with her mom and now she's getting a divorce. Haven't we had enough moments where we see Jason questioning his sluttiness?
Worst thing to say while sleepwalking: "We're all going to die" — Terry to Arlene while he hovers over her bed.
Best description of an anti-vampire technique: The salesclerk at Stake House describes what the silver mist can do: "[Vampires will] say, 'It burns! It burns! I'm going to leave you alone and eat your neighbors now."
Very, very, very close: Andy: "Stackhouse, have yo slept with every woman in this town?" Jason: "I don't know. I'm close I guess."
Best way to kick freeloaders out of your house: Jessica: "Hey idiots, you're boring me. Go back to your human lives before I eat you."