Gavin DeGraw and Karina Smirnoff (Bob D'Amico/ABC )
They start the show with a ridiculous graphic of Gavin in his rowboat on the dance floor, getting overwhelmed by a giant wave. Oh, silly dancing show, it's fun when you have a little bit of a big budget.
It's Motown night and one can only hope that they've managed to rescue 71-year-old Fontella Bass for a performance on Motown night. That song is absolutely on my "Desert Island Jukebox." Oh, cool - they've got a spotlight replica of the Motown logo on the dance floor. And we start off with a performance from Smokey Robinson, "Tracks of My Tears" while the troupe dances. And Smokey, love you man, but I'm not going to take a good look at your face, because the perpetually surprised expression is just too much for me. (I actually said out loud to my TV when he sang that line, "No thank you.") Martha Reeves is 70 years old and in a FANTASTIC dress that's probably best suited for a woman 30 years younger than her. That's a lot of born-in-the-1940s cleavage on display. But, then again, if you've got it, flaunt it. And thanks to her tailor, and presumably the foundation garment industry, she sure does. And NOW, The Temptations singing "Get Ready." Based on the introductory walk down the staircase, I'm pretty sure Katherine Jenkins is going to get tonight's coveted "Why Straight Men Should Watch This Show" picture.
We get a Motown montage - this show is educational!
Gladys Knight & Tristan MacManus
They'll be dancing a rumba (BOO!) to the Temptations' "My Girl." Gladys loves this song. Gladys gives Tristan a history lesson about the Temptations - apparently Gladys & the Pips used to beat the Temptations at softball. Hee. Then Gladys's brother, "The Original Pip," comes in and gives Tristan some Pip Tips. Y'all there is a lot of red fabric happening on these Temptations. Tristan is wearing an incredibly ridiculous purple suit and somehow the heels on his white dancing shoes look silly in a way they don't when he wears black shoes. This is a more interesting rumba than usual - Tristan's not just going for the "vertical expression of horizontal desire" that so many rumbas rely on. Len says that Gladys is top of the leaderboard of his heart. He says that while she's not the best dancer, she's the most charismatic. Bruno wanted a "steamier" rumba. Boo to Bruno. Carrie Ann says tonight should belong to Gladys, but the truth is there were a lot of forgetful movements.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7 Len: 7 Bruno: 7
I don't know who those clean-cut young men in white jackets singing in the balcony were as we came back from commercial break, but they were singing "Uptight" so I like them already. Oh, wait, Tom tells me they're "Human Nature" and on tour now. Thanks, Tom.
Berry Gordy's in the house. Tom does a good, brief interview with him. You definitely don't hand that off to Brooke.
Maria Menounos & Derek Hough
Maria's promoting her "tomboy" side again, as they prepare for their foxtrot. She's getting frustrated, but says she loves challenges. Martha Reeves has changed her dress, like the good diva she is, but it's still more senior citizen boobage than I want to see. She's singing "Jimmy Mack". This is a very peppy foxtrot, and I think someone, probably Len, is going to ding them for it not being smooth enough, because there are definitely some steps that look rough to my eye. Bruno said it was sophisticated and elegant, but mentions the lost footing and subsequent missed choreography. Carrie Ann said that the slip affected their timing after it, and that her shoulders came up near the end. Len says it was a joy. When you can't count on Len, who can you trust?
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8 Len: 9 Bruno: 9
Maria's surprised - as she should be. Those were some generous scores, given the slip and sync issues after it.
Roshon Fegan & Chelsie Hightower
They're doing the rumba this week and Roshon thinks "sensual" means hugging. Bless his heart. He's such a goofy kid. My mom loves him and wants to put him in her pocket. And Smokey Robinson is back, in a scary PVC shirt, to sing "Cruisin'." (Don't hate me, but I kinda like the Huey Lewis and Gywneth Paltrow version of this song.) This is the rumba we've all come to know and get bored by. Bruno will eat it up with a long handled iced tea spoon. Carrie Ann says the moves were "over-exaggerated" which made it hard for her to watch. And then Carrie Ann hints she's going to ding them for a lift. Len says it was jerky and was "dance by numbers." Bruno says what Roshon "lacks in size he makes up in fire," and then stands up and makes an unclear point with lots of hip action. Tom sends us to commercial before Bruno can "dislocate anything."
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7 Len: 8 Bruno: 8
Oooh, with Gladys's presumably strong fanbase, that may not be enough to keep Roshon ahead of her.