Super Bowl champion Donald Driver joins Peta Murgatroyd, who… (Bob D'Amico, ABC )
Apparently, the ballroom was "shellshocked" by last week's bottom two. The ballroom needs to toughen up. Tonight is Latin night. I hope that doesn't mean every other dance is a rumba — booooorrrrring. We start with Carlos Santana performing "Evil Ways," though they don't identify the vocalist.
Holy smokes — Maria Menounous has a full-on showgirl headdress on. Applause for her. One of the backup singers in the band is wearing a trench coat - we know this show is live — did he get there late with no time to remove the coat? Is it chilly in the band's corner of the ballroom? I need answers.
Jaleel White & Kym Johnson
Tom refers to Jaleel's "downward spiral" - we're only on week 5 - calm down, Bergeron. Although then they say we're at the halfway point, so panic away, why not? They're doing a samba to what sounds to me like a slowed down version of Gloria Estefan's "Rhythm Is Gonna Get You." Kim's costume is kind of cool; she's got a really long strand of fringe that starts on her left shoulder, wraps around her body and even continues, barber-shop-pole-style, all the way down her left leg to her ankle. It's adding to the movement of the dance very nicely. Len says he had good hip action, and Bruno says it was "unstoppable." Carrie Ann has a fishtail braid with a feather accent at the top and it's highly distracting. I have to rewind to hear that she says he's got "attack" and "fire" and tells him to watch his arm when he's out of hold. Up in Kiss'n'Cry, Jaleel makes a joke about getting a spray tan with Maks, but that Maks came out darker.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8 Len: 8 Bruno: 8
Melissa Gilbert & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Melissa says she has to avoid getting a headache, per doctor's orders. Melissa's practicing in a bedazzled neck brace, to which Maks adds a sparkly hard hat. Melissa's having a hard time with the idea of showing sexuality in her salsa. Understandable; it's going to be weird to see little Laura Ingalls all sexylike. Maks's shirt is completely unbuttoned, and, y'all, Jaleel might not have been joking - that's some serious spray tan. Melissa looks a little awkward at some points and flat out crazed in other parts - not a lot of grace from her in this routine. Bruno says it was "wild and untamed" and says she needed more control and precision and flails around a lot to demonstrate. Carrie Ann says it's great to see the confidence Melissa's gained over the competition, but adds that she agrees with Bruno about the control. Of all things, she says that Melissa might be taking steps too big for her body. Len enjoyed it overall, but it was uneven. Melissa asked Maks to put in some of the same moves from last week, to "get back on the horse."
Scores: Carrie Ann: 7 Len: 7 Bruno: 7
Harsh, but fair.
Maria Menounos & Derek Hough
In rehearsal, Maria falls literally flat on her face. Derek calls her "baby" A LOT and she turns out to be fine. She comes back in for more rehearsal wrapped in bubble wrap. They start their routine to "The Cup of Life" by Ricky Martin in the crowd, and the giant headdress comes off immediately. Then they start dancing with members of the audience. There's an awkward part in the middle when Maria's doing a backbend onto Derek's knee and he struggles to get his shirt off, and then there's a very stagey liplock and it kind of stops the routine dead. This was good, better than the first two for sure, but there's things to nitpick, especially since these two seem to be capable of some really great stuff. Oh, it was apparently Dr. Drew that Maria was mauling in the audience. Carrie Ann says the kiss was a "sell-out" after saying it might make her an old fuddy-duddy like Len. Len says there were two things revealed: Derek's body and Maria's talent - he wasn't impressed with Derek's body, but he was with Maria's talent. Bruno licks his lips and blows them a kiss and then says, "3 questions: Was it legal? Do you want me to get you a room? Can I join in?' FAMILY HOUR, ABC - sheesh. Coming back in from commercial, we get a little bit of "Oye Como Va" before Brooke asks about the kiss. Since I'm not a junior high student, I refuse to care.
Scores: Carrie Ann: 9 Len: 9 Bruno: 9
Tom non-sequiturs, "Tassels have a lot of bounce, don't they?' See? Straight men have much to gain by watching this show.