(L-R) Lori Grimes (Sarah Wayne Callies), Carol (Melissa Suzanne… (Gene Page/AMC )
Major shocker on this week's episode of "The Walking Dead" they still haven't located Sophia.
This whole search for Sophia thing is turning into a real doozie of a MacGuffin.
At least Shane is acknowledging that this mission is really dragging on, going so far as to equate it to saving a cat from a tree.
If Shane had it his way, they'd just leave her for dead. Of course, Shane's only concern is protecting Rick's wife Lori, and their son Carl at any cost. That's kind of weird, and Lori tells him as much, saying: "My son and I are not your problem anymore, or your excuse."
So Shane's starting to play the Darth Vader role, and Rick — who isn't giving up on the Sophia hunt — is like Obi-Wan Kenobi. That means that Carl is going to be like Luke Skywalker when he gets a little older and finds a lightsaber.
I think this is really going to come to a head as Shane starts to get more and more protective of Lori and Carl. First off, Rick's going to be like, "Hey man, you need to back up off of my family brah, I got this." And then Shane is going to be like, "Listen pal, if you can't protect them, I will." And then Rick is going to be like "Protect this!" and dragon punch him and it will be on like Mo Vaughn.
Meanwhile, Hershel continues to be a rude host and make everyone feel uncomfortable for hanging out on his farm, even though all they're doing is sleeping in pup tents out in the yard. Sheesh, that farmer who let all those hippies have Woodstock at his house was much cooler than Hershel.
They even make him dinner, and he's like, "Hey, who authorized this? I didn't know anything about this." Hey Hershel, just eat your ham and shut up. What are you anyway, the fun police?
I can see things going bad for Hershel if he keeps this up. If Shane sees Hershel as a threat to Lori and Carl's wellbeing — booting them off of the farm where they are safe — Hershel might have an accident in his future.
In romance news, Maggie and Glenn's on-again, off-again relationship seems to be on again. Their booty call in this episode was spoiled when Glenn found a gaggle of zombies hanging out in the barn, foiling his plans to "do it in a hayloft."
What the heck does Hershel have all of those zombies penned up in the barn for anyway? Were they his old drinking buddies and he just can't bear to put them down? Is he doing sadistic experiments on them? Does he just like to get his rocks off by going out there at night and pelting them with rocks? If he was smart, he'd rig up some sort of wheel mechanism that they could turn to generate electricity to power the whole farm instead of dumping all that gasoline in that banged up old generator. Now that's a capital idea!
So last week's episode teased that Merle would be returning, but in fact he's only back as a vision to Daryl, spurring him up a hill. Daryl has a rough go of it this week, falling off of his hoss down a hill, impaling himself on one of his arrows, and being shot in the head by Andrea (it only grazed him). Who does Andrea think she is anyway, Otis? (Remember, he accidentally shot little Carl).
On a side-note, the episode began with a flashback of everyone trying to drive into Atlanta and getting into a huge traffic jam. It reminded me of that R.E.M. video. We see that A-hole Ed again. What a jerk that guy was. I sure don't miss him. Then there was a pretty cool shot of them watching choppers rain napalm death all over Atlanta! It was a pretty heavy scene, but you could make some good jokes about it, like "Hey I know that they call it Hotlanta, but this is ridiculous!" or "I haven't seen Atlanta burning this bad since "Gone with the Wind"!"
By the way, they didn't actually find a chupacabra in this episode, unfortunately. Oh, and a chupacabra is like a little dog thing with giant, sharp teeth. It isn't a real animal, it's like bigfoot or unicorns or penguins.
Most bawdy conversation
Shane and Rick, strolling through the woods, talking about their respective high school sexploits. Shane gets confused about the difference between the words protégé and prodigy, and Rick is embarassed when Shane teases him for not knowing what a home run was in sexual parlance. Shane makes some crude sound effects imitating sexual intercourse and brags about banging Mrs. Kelly, the 30-year old girls volleyball coach.
Manliest Manly Man
Daryl Dixon. He fell off of a hoss, impaled himself on an arrow, fell down a hill twice, climbed it twice, shot a squirrel with an arrow, butterflied the squirrel with his knife, ate the squirrel and got blood all over his face, pulled out the arrow, shot a zombie with it, smashed another zombies face to smithereens with a log, made a necklace out of zombie ears and uttered the phrase "I ain't nobody's bitch!"
Eat that Bear Grylls!
The spiritual embodiment of Merle Dixon. A sampling of the barbs he uses to spur Daryl out of his swoon and climb up that hill:
"Look at you, lying in the dirt like a used rubber!"