October 30, 2011|By Andrew Conrad, aconrad@tribune.com
The joke is never as funny when you have to explain it, Rick.
Biggest pessimist
Lori Grimes. Come on Lori, we get it, life sucks in the post-zombie apocalypse world you live in. But didn't you ever see that movie, "Life Is Beautiful"? You're supposed to act all happy and silly and whimsical to make the kids think everything is still cool. Instead she's dropping all of these sky-is-falling lines like "Maybe this isn't a world for children anymore," "If he dies tonight it ends for him," and "It's like we live with a knife at our throats every second of every day." Sheesh. Who invited Allison Reynolds from "The Breakfast Club"?
Second place, Andrea: "I don't know if want to live or if I have to or if it's just a habit."
Blood Donor of the Year
Rick Grimes. He gave about ten pints in two days. He should get the Red Cross tee shirt, golf umbrella AND tote bag for that performance.
Best four-line monorhyme poem
The one posted on the tree that tent-man hung himself from:
"Got bit
Fever hit
World gone to shit
Might as well quit"
It's too bad that guy died. I bet he knew some pretty hilarious dirty limericks that he could have entertained the other survivors with.
Biggest cheapshot
Maggie, handing Shane a pile of Otis' old clothes: "They won't fit well. They were Otis'."
Yes Maggie, Otis was fat. And now he's dead. Why don't you go tease Carl next for having a seizure or make fun of Carol for crying because her daughter is lost?
Second place goes to Daryl, who really let that hanging zombie have it: "Dumbass didn't even know enough to shoot himself in the head."
I'm surprised he didn't also insult that guy for his unintelligible groaning. At one point, it actually sounded like that zombie was trying to form words! Daryl should have held his hand up to his ear like, "What? I can't hear you. Cat got your tongue?"
Best use of an antiquated term
Daryl, describing his favorite target of derision, that zombie who hung himself: "Those other geeks came and ate all the flesh off of his legs."
Worst house guest
Shane. After killing Otis, he starts rooting through the medicine cabinet and then proceeds to give himself a buzz cut into the sink. Where do you think all your nasty, greasy chunks of hair are going to go Shane? Next he's going to use all the TP and leave the cardboard tube there, finish off the milk and put the carton back in the fridge, clip his toenails in the living room and empty the Brita pitcher without refilling it.
Best zombie kill
They were all pretty generic, but I'm going to go with Daryl's mercy-killing of the guy hanging from the tree. One, because of the scenario, and two, because of his quip afterward: "Waste of an arrow..."
Death count
Zombies: Hard to keep track of all the carnage, but by my count it was 20 confirmed kills for a total of 29 on the season.
Humans: One, Otis. Carl and T-Dog seem to be out of the woods with their ailments, but Sophia is still missing.
Lingering questions
What did Jenner whisper to Rick? What has become of Merle Dixon, Sophia and the father-son team of Morgan and Duane Jones? What does the '22' on Shane's necklace refer to? His jersey number for some sport, or just that he loves drinking deuce-deuces?
A look ahead to next week's episode
The search for Sophia picks up. Daryl finds an old house that may or may not contain Sophia. Shane continues to struggle over the decision to stay with the group. For some reason (maybe to impress Maggie, or maybe because someone dropped their car keys down there) Glenn gets lowered down a well that has Sloth from "The Goonies" splashing around in the bottom. Click here for a preview, of the episode, called "Cherokee Rose."
