12 invaluable life lessons learned on tonight's 'Jersey Shore'

August 11, 2011|By Luke Broadwater

If there's another episode of "Jersey Shore," you can count on one thing being true: Invaluable life lessons will be imparted. 

Here's what we learned from America's favorite multi-millionaires on tonight's show, the second episode of the season set in Italy. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to become a better person. 

1) What to do what when all of America laughs at how terrible of a kisser you are: Deny and claim the opposite. #paulylesson

2) Should you piss in public, again? You should not. #jwowwlesson

3) What to do when your friend wears a funny-looking windbreaker: Give him a high-five. #vinnylesson

4) What to do upon learning that in Italy words are in Italian: You should be genuinely surprised. #deenalesson

5) How should you respond upon being informed by your boss that you are late for work? "Yeah, buddy." #paulylesson

6) How should you make coffee in Italy? You should not. It's too difficult. #jwowwlesson

7) What is the correct number of different color sneakers a man should own? At least 30. #paulylesson 

8) What is the right response to some stranger giving you an energy drink? You should raise your arms in the air and shout "Hook up!" #deenalesson

9) In Italy, what is the city Florence called? Rome. #snookilesson 

10) What do you call it when you get so drunk that you become dorky and goofy? "White boy wasted." #vinnylesson

11) How to know a girl is too young to hook up with: If she has a basket on her bicycle. #vinnylesson

12) What to do if your friend is passed out drunk: Offer him chapstick. #paulylesson

That's it for this week folks. Hopefully, you can take these life lessons and go out into the world a better man or woman. And, remember, if Snooki can do it, you can do it. #ronnielesson

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