Immigrants: Make them swim with the ponies, too

July 03, 2011

We are indebted to Dan Rodricks's litany of arduous prerequisites demanded of children of illegal immigrants before they can qualify for in-state college tuition rates ("Immigrants: We detest them — and need them," June 30).

The requirements include paying taxes, registering for military service and attending community college. But many people apparently feel even this pound of flesh isn't enough to extract.

I suggest we treat illegal immigrants like Chincoteague feral ponies. They would have to satisfy all of the above conditions and also participate in the annual swim in the ocean on pony penning day.

Unfortunately many of these individuals might drown or suffer serious injuries in the melee of ponies floundering to survive. But that might be no great loss, according to the intrepid referendum proponents manning sign-up locales in suburban shopping arcades.

Those who did survive would certainly be the pluckiest of the lot and might even be salvageable by our prosperous, monolingual and illiterate -- albeit "law-abiding" -- society.

Paul R. Schlitz Jr., Baltimore

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