Comedian Stephen Colbert owns Sen. Kyl on Twitter

April 12, 2011|By Luke Broadwater

You might have heard how Arizona Sen. Jon Kyl made up a wildly incorrect statistic about Planned Parenthood and then, once he realized his mistake, put out a statement that said his previous remark was "not intended as a factual statement." 

Well, today, comedian Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) has been lampooning Kyl on Twitter, making up crazy statements and then saying he never intended them to be factual. 

As of 3 p.m. he's posted 30 jokes about Kyl. 

Here are my favorite 10: 

10: Jon Kyl's torso is covered in superfluous nipples.

9: Jon Kyl was sent from the future to kill Sarah Conner.

8: Jon Kyl sponsored S.410, which would ban happiness.

7: On weekends, Jon Kyl shoots manatees with paintball guns.

6: Jon Kyl once ate a badger he hit with his car.

5: Carly Simon wrote that song about Jon Kyl.

4: Jon Kyl assassinated Archduke Ferdinand.

3: Legally, Jon Kyl cannot be within 100 yards of Helen Mirren.

2: Jon Kyl is one of Gaddafi's sexy female ninja guards.

1: Jon Kyl let a game-winning ground ball roll through his legs in Game 6 of the '86 World Series. 

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