Top 10 Rejected "Operation Odyssey Dawn" Names (satire)

March 22, 2011|By Luke Broadwater

It's been revealed that the Obama administration named its war against Libya -- Operation Odyssey Dawn -- after a little-known album by English progressive rock band Yes. 

But what hasn't been revealed are the names of other album titles seriously considered by Obama's inner circle during the build-up to the attack. Through our well-placed sources at the White House, we present to you the Top 10 Rejected "Operation Odyssey Dawn" Names. 

Here we go: 

10. C-Murder, Operation The Truest S--- I Ever Said
Why it was considered: It sounded hard-core. 
Why it was ruled out: Universally decided that "true s---" would not be said in the build-up to the attack.   

9. Oasis, Operation Standing On The Shoulder Of Giants
Why it was considered: It was argued that since we're protecting British oil, we should honor a British band.  
Why it was ruled out:  The grammar presented a stumbling block. Just one "shoulder"? 

8. Kansas, Operation Point of Know Return
Why it was considered: The president likes puns.   
Why it was ruled out: Everyone was on board until "Debbie Downer" Valerie Jarrett made some obscure point ... something about "sounding defeatist."   

7. Fiona Apple, Operation When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You'll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You Know That You're Right
Why it was considered: The title was pretentious enough for all the Ivy-leaguers in the room.
Why it ruled out:  No one likes Hillary's picks. 

6. George Clinton, Operation Hey Man Smell My Finger
Why it was considered: Suggested by a red-eyed Bill Clinton
Why it was ruled out: Suggested by a red-eyed Bill Clinton 

5. Limp Bizkit, Operation Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water
Why it was considered: Clinton, again. 
Why it was ruled out: Hillary gave him the look.  

4. Public EnemyOperation How To Sell Your Soul To A Soulless People Who Sold Their Soul?
Why it was considered: Generally considered to sound "deep." 
Why it was ruled out: Jarrett apparently has a problem with alliteration. Jeez, will nothing please this woman?  

3. Salt-n-Pepa, Operation A Salt with a Deadly Pepa
Why it was considered: It was decided that "a deadly Pepa" would get the message across to Gaddafi loud and clear. 
Why it was ruled out: Joe Biden was saying "F---ing DEADLY!" too loud to count the votes. 

2. Elton John,Operation Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy 
Why it was considered: Cowboys and Captain Fantastic are both awesome and "brown dirt" properly invoked a desert nation. 
Why it was ruled out: Must have been an oversight, because this one was a winner. 

1. Toby Keith, Operation Shock 'N Y'all
Why it was considered: President Bush would have picked it. 
Why it was ruled out: Universally decided that the administration wants to act like President Bush, but doesn't want to be perceived as acting like President Bush.     

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