News item: The Ravens will improve to 5-1 on Sunday if they can beat the New England Patriots for the first time ever in the regular season.
My take: But it won't be the end of the world if they don't. If I had told you in Week 1 that they would be 4-2 after the toughest six-game stretch of the season, you would have signed on the dotted line. Now, you're just getting greedy.
News item: Brett Favre is facing a possible suspension by the NFL for allegedly sending obscene cell phone pictures of himself to a young New York Jets game hostess.
My take: That's disgusting, of course, and I think we can all agree that — if it's true — Brett has given a whole new meaning to the term "junk mail."
Bonus take: If you've seen the photos on the Internet, you're probably thinking the same thing I am. Doesn't this guy make enough money to buy a cell phone camera with a zoom lens.
Related news item: Favre is listed as "questionable" for this week's game because of a sore right elbow.
My take: No comment. I've got to draw the line somewhere.
News item: Washington Wizards star Gilbert Arenas, who admitted to faking a knee injury to sit out a game earlier this week, had to leave Thursday night's preseason game against the Milwaukee Bucks with a real groin injury.
My take: And you don't believe in karma.
News item: New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has taken his share of abuse for his Justin Bieber haircut. Now, even Bieber has gotten into the act, poking fun at Brady in his latest online rap video.
My take: Give me a break. The guy is one of the most popular players in the NFL and he's married to a supermodel. He could bring back the mullet if he set his mind to it.
News item: Peter Schmuck finished fourth in the "Baltimore's Funniest Celebrity" competition, which benefitted the RBaby Foundation and the University of maryland hospital for children, at Martin's East on Thursday night. You can check out my performance at http://www.baltimoresun.com/schmuckblog.
My take: I've crossed pro wrestling and standup comedy off my "bucket list" this year. I can only imagine what kind of foolishness I'll get mixed up in next.
News item: Thousands of runners from around the world will take part in the Baltimore Marathon on Saturday. The race starts at 8 a.m. at the juncture of Russell and Conway Streets.
My take: This will shock you, but running a marathon is not on my "bucket list." It is, however, on my "you've got to be nuts" list.
News item: Ben Roethlisberger will return to action this weekend against the Cleveland Browns after serving a four-game suspension for violating the league's personal conduct policy.
My take: I didn't miss him and I didn't hear any Ravens complaining about his absence two weeks ago. How about you?
News item: Terrell Owens was fined $5,000 for sending out a charity-related tweet an hour before last Sunday's game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
My take: If you're wondering why the league can move so quickly on something like that and so slowly on the Brett Favre situation, you're not alone.
News item: Longtime Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox managed his final game on Monday night, losing to the San Francisco Giants in Game 4 of the Division Series. He will be replaced by former Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez.
My take: Cox goes into retirement as the fourth-winningest manager in baseball history, so the Hall of Fame is a foregone conclusion. Godspeed.
Listen to Peter Schmuck on WBAL (1090 AM) at noon Fridays and Saturdays and at 6 p.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays with Brett Hollander. Also, check out his blog, "The Schmuck Stops Here," at baltimoresun.com/schmuckblog.