May 09, 2010|By Scott Calvert and Tricia Bishop, The Baltimore Sun
With relationship violence, every situation is different, said Eramo. "In many cases, it starts with disrespectful talk and moves along to physical violence," she said. "People, in general, will shrug off a slap in the face as, oh, I made him angry or her angry, or he was drunk. 'It was only this one time.' There's a lot of self-blame in that, and shame. People don't want to come forward."
Adding to the challenge, she said, is the veil of secrecy. "We'll have situations where an abuser will hit somebody where they know the bruising won't show. It's very hidden, behind closed doors."
Alcohol often plays a role. Eramo chairs the Sexual Assault Board, the group that hears sexual assault cases within the context of the university's judicial system. "The cases we see pretty much across the board do involve alcohol," she said.
"Alcohol isn't going to completely change a person, but one of the first things to go is your judgment," said Susan Bruce, director of the university's Center for Alcohol and Substance Education. Bruce said that every sports team has two members who are designated "student athlete mentors" and said that coaches can set more stringent alcohol policies if they choose.
In a promising sign, Bruce said that surveys show alcohol consumption by Virginia students has decreased over the past 10 years.
Eramo said it's too early to say how the university might revamp its awareness and outreach around relationship violence.
"Honestly, I think that's what we'll be talking about in the next days and weeks," she said. "We're obviously still in crisis mode, trying to get students through the shock and grief."
Since Love's death, students have been "coming in and talking about this issue a great deal over these past several days. There's a tremendous awareness of the issue right now. We want to harness some of that energy — without blaming students in the community who are probably feeling very guilty now about what they can or should have done."
