Each year, contestants in the Kinetic Sculpture Race are required to write a short summary of the amphibious mechanical creatures they plan to build. These descriptions are short stories in miniature, frequently poignant and deceptively profound.
But they are amusing. Here are some of our favorites from this year:
•Carver Cobra II: "The last Cobra drowned during water entry at Canton. This one has had swimming lessons."
•Going to Hell: "Fire, Brimstone, Devils, Oh My!"
•Chessie: "Chessie is a 25-foot-long sea monster with 99 ferocious teeth. FACT: When the ice and snow was dumped into the Inner Harbor, Chessie came out of the water to roam the streets of Baltimore. Keep your children on the stoop, here comes Chessie! So mad that her eyes spin, so fierce that her tail flaps, so hungry that she could eat all of Baltimore. Fear the fish?"
•T-Wrecks: "It is April 1, and we haven't made, much less tested, anything. We have absolutely no experience. We haven't even seen (other than on a website) a kinetic sculpture. We haven't found a pit crew with any skill or a willingness to be associated with a sculpture of our design. Because our sculpture is destined to be a prime candidate for the Golden Dinosaur Award, it is only appropriate that it resemble one."
•Veke Virsa Boat: "This year's Veke Virsa Boat is dedicated to providing habitat for the endangered, elusive and apocryphal tree octopus."