To quote a certain vice president, this week in entertainment was a big f---ing deal. Here's your pop culture week in review.
'THE HILLS' FINAL SEASON STARTS IN APRIL: It's the last chance to give Heidi and/or Spencer a best leading douchebags in a fake reality show Emmy.
ROAD TRIP!: Universal Orlando's The Wizarding World of Harry Potter opens June 18. Just a few months left to convince my editor there's a story down there.
'TODAY' REPORTS ON BEST ACTRESS OSCAR CURSE: It's not that we think you have "journalistic standards," but we sadly expected more from you, "Today."
WHY CAN'T THIS BE A REAL MOVIE?: Funnyordie.com's Weird Al Yankovic biopic trailer.
LEAST SURPRISING NEWS OF THE WEEK: That Justin Bieber's manager is named "Scooter."
'SPORT' WE'RE EMBARRASSED EXISTS: Extreme ironing. Totally not helping America's standing in the world.
PAYDAY HALL-OF-SHAME: Really, John Malkovich and Frances McDormand? "Transformers 3"? We could have lent you some cash if you were that desperate.
GUILTY PLEASURE OF THE WEEK: Watching Kate Gosselin do so poorly on " Dancing With the Stars."
GUILTIER PLEASURE OF THE WEEK: Secretly wanting to buy the direct-to-DVD "Free Willy: Escape from Pirate's Cove."
CBS ORDERS DANCING COMPETITION SHOW: Featuring the music of Lawrence Welk! Get it? Because people who watch CBS are old. Zing!
LATEST MOVIE FROM THE BRAIN OF A 12-YEAR-OLD: "Gladiators vs. Werewolves." Yes, it's real.
BEST WAY TO BE DEPRESSED ABOUT YOUR FINANCES: Usmagazine.com's photo gallery of "Hollywood Kids' Most Expensive Outfits!"
DONNY OSMOND SLAMS LADY GAGA'S 'TELEPHONE' VIDEO: And here we thought a squeaky-clean Mormon would love a girl with cigarette sunglasses.
Jordan Bartel is the assistant editor at b. Follow him on Twitter, @jordanbartel.