This week, we discovered that renting the makes-you-too-scared-to-go-outdoors "Cabin Fever" is not the best way to get over cabin fever. So instead we spent our time collecting the best stories pop culture threw down. Here's our week in review:
MOST WELCOME RETURN: Sade, which sold 500K copies of comeback album Soldier of Love in its first week. Also, we learned that Sade is the name of the band and not just the lead singer, a fact that eluded us for 20 years.
BEST THING WE SAW ALL WEEK: Photo essay "How to properly enjoy Ed Hardy wine" on thechive.com. Hint: It involves a toilet.
EXAMINATION FINDS KING TUT HAD A CLUB FOOT: He now joins the very exclusive club-foot club that includes Lord Byron, Damon Wayans and Kristi Yamaguchi.
3-D ERECTOR SET MOVIE PLANNED: Next up: "2 Lincoln Logs 2 Furious"
PROPOSED BANNING: Inane "Access Hollywood" host Billy Bush from going anywhere near an Olympic Games from now on.
WE STILL LOVE YOU: Snoop Dogg, but why the hell are you on "One Life to Live"?
'LAST CALL WITH CARSON DALY' GETS A NEW PRODUCER: In related news, "Last Call With Carson Daly" is still on the air.
STATE OF PREDICTABILITY: Utah legislature reinforces everyone's stereotypes about the state by introducing a bill that would create a state holiday recognizing gunmaker John Browning. On Martin Luther King Jr. Day.
AND WE TOTALLY BELIEVE HER: Jessica Simpson says she's learned "nothing" from past relationships.
BEST HEADLINE OF THE WEEK: Us Weekly's "Doctors Explain: What's Wrong With Angelina's Face"
PROOF ' AVATAR' LOVE IS OUT OF CONTROL: New threads on "Avatar" forums include "Gay Na'vi: It's possible" and a discussion on whether Na'vi would enjoy "Family Guy."
SURI CRUISE HAS A $850 PURSE: As we continue to live on grilled cheese and saltines.
TUESDAY MARKED THREE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF BRITNEY SPEARS SHAVING HER HEAD: Moment of silence
Jordan Bartel is assistant editor at b. Follow him on Twitter, @jordanbartel.