Followed hubby to Florida -- but not back

February 15, 2010|By Susan Reimer

This time, I went with him. And I still got snowed in.

Every winter for all the years we have been married, my husband the sportswriter has left me in winter for a subtropical Super Bowl city or a glamorous Winter Olympics venue.

And every four years, he leaves me for both.

Every year, calamity strikes. It is like the universe knows I am working without a net and takes its best shot at the target on my back.

One year, there was a mouse in the kitchen.

One year, the IRS attached my wages and shut down my bank account for nonpayment of a $30 bill that never got to me.

One year, a snowstorm came at me horizontally, filled my attic and melted its way through my bedroom ceiling and onto my bed.

One year, I wrecked my car and had my wallet stolen in the grocery store.

Oh, yeah. All those things happened in the same year, while my husband was at the Super Bowl in Southern California.

When he called from Disneyland, I just started shrieking.

"Calm down," he said. "Before something really bad happens."

"WHAT'S LEFT?" I howled.

And there have been endless ear infections, throw-ups, sports injuries, emotional crises and school projects to fill in the down time here at home while my husband traveled the world.

You can understand why I was ready for a change in this routine, so I decided to catch a plane to Ft. Lauderdale this year for the Super Bowl. "But I will be busy working," he said.

"Nothing new there," I said. "But this time, I will be beside a pool with a book and a cocktail."

When the snowstorm of the century arrived in Baltimore, I started to get a little tense, but my husband was happy.

For once, his wife was right there beside him -- and not at the other end of the phone shrieking at him like the snow was his fault.

Then things started to fall apart.

He was able to get out of Ft. Lauderdale on his airline after the Super Bowl. I wasn't, and I spent three days snowbound in Florida, contemplating the meaning of irony.

He is in Vancouver now for the Olympics, where there is no snow. And I am home in Maryland, where there is more than enough snow for five or six of his trips out of town.

But I have learned a valuable lesson: Next winter, when it is time for my husband to leave town and me, I think I am just going to get a facial.

Susan Reimer's column appears Mondays.

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