I'll never forget the big old buck with a hairy eyeball that used to stare down at me from above the mantel at my great-uncle Walter's fishing and hunting cabin.
Or the eggs fried in 30-weight oil and coffee from the Mister Mud Machine that jump-started every morning.
Or the copperhead snakes that used to hide in the outhouse or under the rickety dock that hung out over the Susquehanna River. Good thing the bats kept them from getting too comfortable.
Memories. I have them. You have them. Chris Hoiles has them.
But these days, when the former Orioles catcher thinks about hunting and fishing, he conjures up a different vision. One with gourmet Cajun cooking, a lodge with a cathedral ceiling in the living room and "nightly cocktail hours."
You can be a part of his picture next month. For $2,900.
Plunk down the bucks and you can join 15 other hunters who will be driven Oct. 21 from Baltimore County to Elk County, Pa., home of the North Fork Lodge. Former Orioles Will Clark, Ben McDonald and Jamie Walker will greet the campers and then take part in "Bows, Bucks & Birds," four days of bowhunting for whitetails.
"If you enjoy the outdoors, it's an absolutely beautiful place," Hoiles says of the 7,000-acre spread. "And they do have indoor plumbing. Heated. And they have toilet paper and everything."
The property has a trout stream and a bass pond, a skeet and trap range, 25 tree stands and four ground blinds. The lodge is owned by Kip Fulks, senior vice president of outdoor and innovation at Baltimore-based Under Armour.
At the managed property, hunters won't be allowed to take anything smaller than a 140-class buck because, Hoiles says, "We're not going to be shooting at everything and anything."
It's not your typical hunting experience, Hoiles acknowledges, but one he hopes will be a great gift for a sportsman, an Orioles fan or, perhaps, a businessman looking to impress a client.
(Before we all hyperventilate at the price, let me point out that a one-day rock 'n' roll fantasy camp can cost $1,999 per person and five days will set you back $8,000. A "priceless" three-day basketball camp this fall with NBA Hall of Famer Rick Barry actually has one - $2,400.)
Fantasy hunting camp isn't a new concept. But Hoiles and his partner, Adam Gladstone, are making it local.
They hooked up three years ago when Gladstone, then-director of baseball operations for the independent York (Pa.) Revolution, was in search of a manager. He called Hoiles, who was driving home from a hunting trip.
