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Bullock's Got A Lot To Say In Inept, Manipulative Comedy

'All About Steve' * ( 1 Star)

By Michael Sragow , michael.sragow@baltsun.com|September 04, 2009

When you learn that Sandra Bullock produced as well as stars in "All About Steve," you can't help wondering, "What was she thinking?" In a film that comes on like a madcap romance but settles swiftly into inept crazy comedy, she looks as bland and thin as a bleached pretzel stick and acts as if she were starring in a medical cartoon about logorrhea.

Yes, I mean logorrhea: according to Webster's New World, Second College Edition, "n., excessive talkativeness, especially when incoherent and uncontrollable." (I'm amazed that definition didn't make it into the script, a cross between a dictionary and a bad issue of Mad magazine.) Bullock's character, Sacramento, Calif., crossword constructor Mary Horowitz, can't help turning conversations into wearying brain twisters built on word relations and floods of facts. She's like a walking, talking - especially talking - synonym finder.

Bullock does her damndest to be nerdy and instead becomes excruciatingly artificial - a malfunctioning verbal fun machine. Her whimsy sinks like a series of lead thought balloons. Director Phil Traill and screenwriter Kim Barker aid and abet her disastrous quest to be simultaneously brainy and goofy with a never-ending series of would-be comic catastrophes, including a hole in the ground that swallows a gang of deaf children. (Costume designer Gary Jones does his bit for Calamity Mary, too, supplying her with shiny red long boots and secret naughty scarlet lingerie.)


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To judge from Mary's Burt Reynolds pinup and her wooden case of audiocassettes, she appears to be locked into a young-adult fantasy life that peaked between 1975 and 1985. Why did this arrested development kick in? She says she's living with her parents until her own fumigated apartment is properly aired. She also announces, gratuitously, that she is "half-Jewish, half-Catholic." But all we really know about her past and present is that her career as a "cruciverbalist" (her favorite word for "crossword constructor") has siphoned off her passion and creativity.

Then she goes on a blind date with a cable-news cameraman named Steve (Bradley Cooper) and becomes convinced that he's her perfect man and her one-way ticket to normality. When he brushes her off with the statement that he wishes she could go on the road with him, she takes him at his word and follows him from one trouble spot to another, starting with a Tucson, Ariz., hospital where people have gathered to support or protest the removal of a baby girl's third leg. Every mannered, deliberately ridiculous piece of action has been designed to prove that everyday life has become so corrupted or insane that a genuine, benevolent eccentric like Mary is the one source of innocence left.

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