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Muzak Of Their Choice Isn't Music To My Ears

Janet's World

July 19, 2009|By Janet Gilbert , Special to The Baltimore Sun

Music on hold can also be disturbingly inappropriate. Imagine you are holding, waiting to consult with the funeral home director, and suddenly you hear "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang. You could be put on hold at the hospital's front desk while the receptionist looks up the patient's room number and happen to hear Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing." Or you could be tormented by The Beatles' "Yesterday" while waiting for the bridal shop attendant to check the status of your wedding gown.

This is what happened to me last week: I was feeling quite chipper, calling a company to claim my coupon for the free bag of dog food I had earned through prior purchases. While on hold waiting for a representative, this plaintive, repetitive instrumental blues song came on. It was really sad, mournful music, and it just kept bringing me down, down, down.

Suddenly I couldn't help but think about how I was going to feel when my dog gets old and I might be confronted with the Marley & Me scene. When the representative finally picked up the line, I had to blow my nose loudly in his ear.

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This morning I had to phone the U.S. passport office, which recently lost my daughter's original birth certificate. I was, of course, put on hold. But at least they didn't have the audacity to blast me with "Can't Find My Way Home" by Blind Faith.

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