Find articles about retirement and discuss them, she says. Or, gather all your financial statements and take an inventory of all your holdings. "Have a conversation over a glass of wine ... about what you own," Bloom says.
Florida planner Mari Adam suggests you each make up a list of your top three goals, compare notes and then come up with a list you both agree on.
"You have to go in the same direction," she says, otherwise "it's the Jon and Kate of the financial world."
Financial planner J. Patrick Collins Jr. in Towson says he finds that couples often hit the basics, but need to delve deeper.
"Rather than talk about 'When do we want to retire' ... it should be more about 'Why do we want to retire? And what do we want to do?' " Collins says. "The reason people aren't planning or communicating is they don't have anything to plan for."
If talking about finances with your mate is new, you might - at least initially - avoid hot-button issues that can lead to arguments, such as how much financial support to give adult children or who is to blame for investment mistakes.
Odenton financial planner Jim Ludwick says he's taking a class on how to deal with the growing number of angry couples, where one spouse blames the other for their shrinking portfolio in the wake of last year's market downturn.
If you can discuss retirement issues with your mate politely and come to an agreement, consider yourself fortunate.
"You probably have a good marriage," says Florida planner Adam.
Retirement disconnect
A Fidelity Investments survey found that many couples don't communicate about their ideas for retirement. Among the findings:
* 60 percent don't agree on retirement age
* 44 percent don't agree on working in retirement
* 42 percent don't agree on expected lifestyle
* 38 percent make financial decisions about retirement together
* 15 percent are confident that either mate could handle retirement finances if the other died
