Laura Lippman was just on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, promoting her new book, Life Sentences. Ferguson asked if she sees much of another famous Baltimorean, John Waters.
"Yeah, well, I'll tell the story because it was outed in the newspaper," she said. "We tried to keep it secret. John Waters was my minister. He married us."
"Us" being Lippman and Wire creator David Simon.
Ferguson needed a moment to get over his shock, but it's true: The Pope of Trash is a man of the cloth, ordained by the Universal Life Church, an outfit that sells minister's licenses by mail order. Then Lippman went on.
"And he asked us to keep it a secret - but some nosy reporter went and looked up our marriage license down at the courthouse - because he doesn't want to marry anyone who calls up and asks."
Full disclosure: I'm the nosy reporter.
While I appreciate the shout-out, I must note that Lippman and Simon are both former Baltimore Sun reporters who presumably nosed into a few things in their day. Simon is always bemoaning the decline of good ol' shoe-leather journalism. I schlepp down to the courthouse and pull a public record, and his wife calls me nosy?
Besides, if you want to keep your marriage on the QT, perhaps a flamboyant wedding officiant is not the way to go. Word gets around. Particularly if the minister happens, at the time, to be starring as The Groom Reaper on a Court TV show about marriages that go murderously wrong. And the bride, groom and preacher are just about the biggest names in town.
Nevertheless, Lippman did try to keep the whole thing hush-hush for some reason, declining to comment when I contacted her in April 2007. But if the secrecy was for Waters' sake, somebody forgot to tell Waters. The director was more than happy to chat about his marriage-making when I called back then, though he wouldn't say whom he'd hitched and made it clear he only marries close friends.
Waters talked about how he'd started tying knots. (He was asked to unite Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder while filming his 1990 film Cry-Baby, though they never ended up getting hitched.) About how much he charges. (Seven dollars. "And you have to have exact change.") About how he takes it seriously. ("I even counseled the couples.")
Does that sound like a guy trying to keep his sideline secret?
Sher in the debate
You knew Richard Sher couldn't stay off TV too long.
