May 03, 2009|By Peter Schmuck
News item: The new book about to hit the shelves by Sports Illustrated reporter Selena Roberts portrays Alex Rodriguez as a guy who took steroids in high school and tipped pitches to opposing hitters in the hope they would reciprocate and help him pad his stats.
My take: After all those steroids, you would think the guy wouldn't need any more padding.
News item: Former Oriole Kevin Millar, sporting the goatee he was not allowed to grow in Baltimore, drove in three runs in the Toronto Blue Jays' 8-4 victory over the Orioles on Friday night at Rogers Centre.
My take: You knew he would bust out as soon as he got out from under the Orioles' ridiculous facial hair policy. Imagine what Aubrey Huff could do if they let him look a little scruffier.
News item: The NCAA is facing real pressure from Congress to scrap the Bowl Championship Series and institute a playoff system to determine the best team in college football. Rep. Joe Barton, a Texas Republican, has introduced legislation that would prohibit the NCAA from calling its final game the national championship unless it's the outcome of a playoff.
My take: If I were king of the world, I would abolish the BCS, too, but if I were the Congress of the United States in the middle of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, I think I might have more important things to worry about right now.
Related news item: Penn State coach Joe Paterno said Thursday night that he's pushing for the Big Ten to add one more team to stretch the season and create the need for a conference championship game.
My take: Call me old-fashioned, but I still haven't gotten used to the fact that there are 11 teams in a conference called the Big Ten.
News item: Tickets for prime seats at the new Yankee Stadium are being sold on the secondary market for far less than face value. Even some prime tickets for the coming Red Sox series are selling on StubHub for less than face value.
My take: This is a total shock to me because I've spent a lot of time in New York and those people don't respect you if you're not trying to gouge them.
News item: Minnesota Vikings coach Brad Childress said on the first day of rookie minicamp that his team might discuss the possibility of signing Brett Favre now that the New York Jets have surrendered any claim to compensation for him if he comes out of retirement. Meanwhile, Favre is rumored to be training for another comeback.
My take: Just want to remind you that I predicted this. I also predicted the sun would rise this morning and the Orioles would finish fifth this year. Sometimes I scare myself.
News item: Jose Canseco's lifelong search for attention will continue soon in Tokyo, where he will fight a 7-foot-2, 300-pound kick boxer in a mixed martial arts pay-per-view event May 26.
My take: Can't say I'm surprised, though I thought he needed at least one more tuneup match against that kid from The Partridge Family who fought him to a draw in his boxing debut.
News item: All-time home run king Barry Bonds attended a game Monday night at San Francisco's AT&T Park and continued to insist to reporters that he is not retired.
My take: That's a relief. I'm not sure what we (the media) would do without him.
News item: The morning line favorite for Saturday's Kentucky Derby - I Want Revenge - was scratched early in the day with a hot spot in his front left ankle.
My take: "Revenge" had drawn the No. 13 post position, so you can draw your own conclusions.
News item: The Miami Dolphins reportedly have sold the naming rights for Dolphin Stadium to Land Shark Lager, a relatively unknown beer produced by Anheiser-Busch in partnership with singer Jimmy Buffett.
My take: Yes, it apparently will be called Land Shark Stadium, which is kind of cool in a weird Saturday Night Live sort of way.
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