Now there is a third person in our family, and our accommodations are not his. He knows he's Jewish and his mother isn't, but that doesn't answer all the questions. Menorahs made with his small hands have found a place on the mantle. This year, he brought home the newest one for the collection, oddly shaped and painted blue and green. A Starship menorah, he announced, and of course it was. Small gifts are exchanged, though he has tried to convince us that the gift-giving increases with each of the eight nights of Hanukkah. He's a kid, all right.
Klezmer music prompts some dancing after the candles are lit, and then we say good night.
As before, we will travel to New York, and this year, our 6-year-old will bring along his Starship menorah and a box of candles because as he says proudly, Thursday is the fifth night of Hanukkah.
- Ann LoLordo
Give yourself a present
This has been a tough year, so there really was no question of indulging in extravagant holiday gift-giving.
I ended up buying CDs, DVDs and the usual tchotchkes for family and loved ones.
People are still shopping despite the parlous state of the economy. It's Americans' remarkable resilience.
We keep thinking things are going to get better, even though they often get a lot worse before they do. Shopping is outpatient therapy while we're waiting.
During all the buying and gift-wrapping, I hardly gave a thought to what I might get, though. You finally do realize that it's better to give than to receive, and also you're more aware of how blessed we Americans already are. There are so many tragedies in the world - cholera in Zimbabwe, starvation in Congo, anarchy in Somalia - that put our own difficulties, however painful, in perspective.
The other night a guy on the radio said we shouldn't take the holidays too seriously, not run around like lunatics trampling store clerks to death just to get a flat-screen TV at half-price. Plus the older one gets, the harder it becomes to imagine anything that someone might give you that actually would make you feel that much better anyway, except maybe love.
Which set me thinking: Maybe people should give themselves a present, some small token of self-affirmation and regard for having pulled through another year more or less intact.
Nothing, mind you, that's only going to cause problems later. Not some family's foreclosed home or a new SUV. Ditto martinis for people who have been on the wagon, or that last cigarette when you're trying to quit. Things you know are bad for you can't be gifts of love.
Some people gift themselves with lists of New Year's resolutions. But what does that say if you end up breaking most of them? Love doesn't mean much if you don't follow through.
How about just giving yourself some time to reflect and peace of mind, both of which are always in short supply? That surely would be unexpected.
- Glenn McNatt
