So your jokes, videos, brain-teasers, etc. are just adding to the clutter. And my head's about to explode.
All I do for hours every day is waste time by looking at these dopey e-mails and hitting the delete key.
I hit the delete key so much I now have some kind of tendonitis in that finger.
The finger is swollen to, I don't know, 10 times the size of my other fingers. It throbs constantly.
Is there even a name for that sort of injury? Computer finger? I'm not trying to make more of this than it is, but "computer finger" really doesn't get at the essence of the injury.
While we're on the subject, let me also take a moment to address my retired friends, who tend to forward a disproportionate amount of the corny jokes, lame videos, panicky health alerts, etc, that reach my in-box.
Friends, first of all, let me say this: I'm glad you're enjoying your retirement.
And it's really great to hear from you - although not, perhaps, every five minutes via e-mail.
Finally, I'm happy you got that new computer from Dell or wherever, and it sure does work well, especially the function that lets you forward interesting things from the Internet.
But the fact is, some of the people you send this stuff to are still working.
And between work and family commitments, these people still lead rather busy lives.
Which means they might not always have time to, you know, read all the jokes and look at all the videos and study all the brain-teasers you have so kindly been forwarding.
So maybe you retired folks might want to lighten up on the volume of stuff you send out, so people don't go completely insane culling through it all every day.
Maybe you could even think about not forwarding anything at all and just savoring it yourself.
I'm sure this would be fine with your working friends, who ... oh, look at that!
Even as I write this, the little icon at the bottom of the screen lit up, indicating I have a new e-mail.
Well, let's open it up and take a peek, shall we?
Uh-oh. It's from a middle-aged friend.
"HAVE FUN WITH THIS QUIZ (BUT NO PEEKING!)" it says.
It's multiple-choice. The first question is: "What builds strong bodies 12 ways?"
I'm going to say d) Wonder Bread.
Because the other choices are just ridiculous.
