Burnett would be heartbreaker

November 16, 2008|By KEVIN VAN VALKENBURG

A.J. Burnett is the most infuriating pitcher in all of baseball. Instead of offering him a dump truck full of money (whether it's real money or Confederate money, as Syd Thrift might say), the Orioles should run far, far away. Because he will break your heart. He will make your hair fall out. He will spend five years teasing you with one good start in every four, and spend more time on the DL than Amy Winehouse spends in detox. ... Burnett has an electric arm that is made out of balsa wood and held together with chewing gum.

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