Suggs ends holdout at the perfect time

News item: Chinese Olympic organizers have been subjected to widespread ridicule for their strange attempts to micromanage the opening ceremony, which included digitally enhancing the fireworks display for the global television broadcast and replacing the anthem singer with a lip-syncing stand-in because the original girl wasn't cute enough.

My take: I'm shocked that such an open and enlightened country would stoop to such petty duplicity. Doesn't that government have better things to do, like oppressing small countries and arresting journalists?

News item: New Los Angeles Dodger Manny Ramirez finally got around to the haircut manager Joe Torre ordered when he was traded from the Boston Red Sox two weeks ago. The trim ended what had been dubbed the "Dreadlock Deadlock" by some clever newspaper guys.

My take: Well, I guess you could call it a haircut. Manny got 1 inch taken off his lengthy dreadlocks, and Torre is going to look the other way as long as he keeps hitting about .450 in Dodger Blue.

News item: Michael Phelps earned his eighth gold medal last night at the Beijing Games, and Katie Hoff closed out her Olympics with a silver medal and two bronze medals.

My take: If Towson would just declare its independence, it would be fourth in gold medals and 12th in the overall medal count.

News item: Much has been made at the Olympics about Phelps' daily in-competition diet, which adds up to about 12,000 calories a day.

My take: So, you're saying that's a lot?

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Listen to Peter Schmuck on WBAL (1090 AM) at noon most Saturdays and Sundays.