The Ravens probably have enough on their plate right now, what with a new coach and a new quarterback and Derrick Martin's recent citation for alleged marijuana possession and impersonation of a Cincinnati Bengal, but they still found time to run afoul of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
PETA has sent a letter of protest to Ravens vice president for marketing Gabrielle Dow concerning the team's plan to feature a pair of actual ravens during pre-game player introductions at M&T Bank Stadium during the coming season.
"We have received numerous complaints from people who are gravely concerned and upset that the Baltimore Ravens are planning to feature live African white nape ravens (members of the Corvidae family) at upcoming games, including having the birds fly out of smoky tunnel," wrote Kristie Phelps, PETA's assistant director of the group's Animals in Entertainment Campaign. "After carefully considering the following information, we urge you to cancel plans to feature live birds immediately and implement a policy prohibiting the use of live animals at all Ravens games."
The letter cites the "sheer intensity" of a Ravens football game, which proves - at the very least - that Ms. Phelps did not attend last season's game in Miami. She goes on to lecture the team on the potential negative consequences for the performing birds if they are placed in a stadium environment.
"[The] bright lights, screaming fans, and loud noises - such as air horns, bands, and amplified sound systems - are terrifying for animals who can't possibly understand what is going on," the letter goes on. "Regardless of how these birds are trained, they are likely to be severely distressed by the overwhelming confusion of the situation."
To which, I have to ask, why should they be any different than Kyle Boller?
(OK, that was a little mean-spirited, but you were all thinking the same thing, and Kyle is a fun guy who likes a good laugh as much as anyone, so I'm pretty sure he'll still talk to me during training camp.)
The notion that the ornithologically correct ravens will be psychologically damaged by a stadium environment is a little bit out there, especially considering how many birds voluntarily nest at ballparks and stadiums. But I'm going to throw in my lot with the animal-rights people because I think it's terribly cruel for humans to exploit animals for crass entertainment purposes, unless I get a real good tip on a long shot at Laurel.
