"They should put a surgeon general's warning on coffee," I once said in jest. But it's not a joke.
Whether you're a writer like me, a businessman, a sales rep, a news anchor, an airline pilot, a cop, an orthopedic surgeon, a tax attorney, a pop star or the girl who gets propelled 20 feet in the air by a dolphin at SeaWorld - whoever you are, you're probably a member of the Coffee Club. And if you're not, you will be soon, because when Dunkin' Donuts first coined its motto, "America runs on Dunkin," it wasn't far off the mark.
America runs on coffee - or, if you've got enough bean savoir-faire, maybe a double-shot cinnamon dolce latte with sugar-free syrup (hold the cream). Whatever your preference, there's a healthy (or maybe unhealthy) chance you're among the 57 percent of American adults who consume java daily. In fact, Starbucks is determined to make sure you are.
If you're one of those people who would sell a kidney for a tall chai latte, you were probably horrified when, back in February, Starbucks shut its doors for 3 1/2 long, decaffeinated hours. The reason behind the company's inhumane shutdown? To prepare baristas nationwide for a coffee crusade called "Espresso Excellence."
With stock prices falling and the recent downshift of the economy resulting in the dwindling patronage of the Coffee Club, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz's new brew smells funny, and it isn't the sweet aroma of a caf? au lait. It's one of the cornerstones of economics that an investment should not be made unless the marginal benefit exceeds the marginal cost. How, then, is Starbucks going to profit by giving customers a free shot of espresso? Naturally curious, I asked a local Delray Beach, Fla., barista how the new system worked - over a steamy cup of Joe, of course. Here's the breakdown:
Starbucks espresso machines only make espresso shots in multiples of two - enough caffeine and artificial sweeteners to keep a circus elephant wired. So even if you only want one shot, they give you two for the price of one; if you're in for a long day and you're looking for that industrial-strength triple shot, you'll get four at the price of three. So far, the customer is the victor. Or so it seems.
