Normally, he rushed to greet me, knowing what I had. But this time, he just stared. His silence and stillness gave me chills.
"What's up, boy?" I said softly. "What's the matter? Don't you want something to eat?"
I walked across the room and got in between him and the window, inserting myself into his view like a child wanting attention. He turned from the window and gave me an annoyed look; had he been human he would have said, "Leave me alone, OK?"
There were fiberglass casts on both of his back legs, one protecting the broken leg and the other for his laminitis. He was hooked up to a maze of medicine drips and monitors.
He had been in this room for weeks, and as down as he was about being in pain, I think he was mostly depressed because he felt like a captive.
I held out a baby carrot, his favorite snack. He took it but spit it on the ground.
"Come on, boy," I purred. "This makes you happy."
I held out a red apple, which he usually swallowed whole. He knocked it out of my hand with his nose.
I stared at him. He stared out the window.
"I guess you don't want any company, huh?" I asked.
I walked across the straw floor and out the door, and spoke to one of the nurses.
"Boy, he's not himself," I said.
He obviously was in no mood for company, so I went back to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. I had visited enough that the staff knew me. I sat in the kitchen and talked to them, and then went out to the front desk to talk to the vets and admissions people. I looked over the latest rounds of flowers, get-well cards and stuffed animals that had arrived; they took up an entire hallway.
After an hour, I decided to give the horse another try. I walked over to the ICU, put scrubs back on, and crept into his room. When I said his name, he turned from the window to look at me and pricked his ears. He seemed happier.
"Hey, boy," I said, walking to him. "You're feeling better now?"
When I offered him a carrot, he took it and gulped it. "That's my guy," I said.
He let me pat him and play with his ears, a reminder of the better times we had shared. I had always played with his ears when we were in a post parade before a race.
Soon, he put his head on my shoulder, and I stroked his great muscular neck. After a few minutes, I realized he had fallen asleep. He awoke soon enough, but I spent another hour with him, talking to him and walking him around the room gently and slowly.
