But my voice sounded particularly scratchy and far away, like one of those old recordings of Al Jolson from the 1920s.
There's also an oily quality to it, as if I'm emceeing a Jell-O-wrestling contest at a strip club.
On the other hand, Johnny Cash sounds terrific singing "I Walk the Line." So Hallmark didn't skimp on the recordings of music big-shots.
According to industry insiders, Hallmark came up with these recordable greeting cards to stave off the threat posed by e-cards and e-mails, which were cutting into profits.
And you can see how these cards would appeal to young people and young moms on Mother's Day.
The new Hallmark TV commercial pretty much nails its appeal for a hip, computer-savvy family.
It opens with a teenage girl recording a message on a card for her mom. It's a message that starts with a wistful "I remember ..." and is promptly declared lame by her two friends.
In the next scene, the girl hands her now-finished card to her mom, who is sitting with the girl's grandmother at the dining room table.
The mom opens the card. And the first thing she hears is her daughter's voice say: "Mom, you totally rock."
The next thing she hears is the pulsating '90s anthem "Unbelievable," sung by the British dance band EMF.
At this, the mom gets all teary-eyed.
"Isn't that sweet?" the grandmother says, or something like that.
And yes, the mom sure thinks it is.
Sure, it's sweet for her. And why wouldn't it be?
She gets a Mother's Day card featuring EMF and the upbeat "Unbelievable."
My mom's getting a card with a song sung in a monosyllabic voice by a dead country artist she knows nothing about.
She might not find it quite as sweet.
kevin.cowherd@baltsun.com
