Gettin' jiggy

Red Sox closer Papelbon gets his Irish up as reigning lord of the victory dance

December 24, 2007

"We were messing around in the locker room waiting for the Yankees to finish their game," Papelbon told Mississippi's Hattiesburg American. "We won the AL East for the first time in 12 years. We were drinking a couple glasses of milk, and I got a little tipsy after those glasses of milk. We were like kids playing a game. I first danced in the locker room, then I took it out to the field."

It sounds as if Papelbon is a candidate for Dancing with the Stars.

"I'm trying to teach my wife to dance like me," Papelbon said. "She's not as fleet of foot as I am. I want to try to tango next."

Take it easy

The NFL wanted the Eagles to perform at halftime of next season's Super Bowl, but the group apparently told the league it was already gone. The Eagles are choosing to play the Grand Ole Opry instead, which would mean a heartache tonight for their fans during the Super Bowl. Because they have never put on a show at the game, the Eagles would have been the new kid in town. But Mr. Flip supposes it will all work out in the long run.

Oh, and here's another obvious joke: That's probably the only way the Eagles would make it to the Super Bowl.

Tastefully done

Mr. Flip would like to believe himself to be something of an arbiter of taste. Yet, at the same time, he just loves to pass along dish on the Beckhams. So he will just let you know that Victoria Beckham backed husband David in disputing rumors that the soccer star's photo in a new underwear ad had been "enhanced."

"I'm proud I still have a really good sex life with David," the Spice gal said. She went on to compare him to a part of the equipment on a tractor, but Mr. Flip will leave it at that.

Jurassic classic

It seems Mr. Flip wasn't the only one who found ESPN's reporting on Bill Parcells' move back into the NFL a bit breathless. Let's follow the trail as partially recounted on the Kissing Suzy Kolber blog:

"ESPN's Chris Mortensen has learned that ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli reports that ESPN's Bill Parcells is now on his way to Miami, preparing to sign offer sheet to become VP of Dolphins. Parcells will sign the offer, unless he does not."

"ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that ESPN's Bill Parcells is carrying with him a preserved mosquito in amber, and plans on cloning dinosaurs once he lands in Miami."

"ESPN's Chris Mortensen has learned that ESPN's Bill Parcells has actually cloned two velociraptors and has them in transit."

"ESPN's Chris Mortensen tells ESPN's John Clayton that the velociraptors have learned to breed!"

"ESPN's Chris Mortensen has learned that the bloodthirsty velociraptors have parachuted out of the plane and are presently on the ground!"

"ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that they have nukes now! ... Everyone run!"

"ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli reports that recent reports ... of a superintelligent nuclear dinosaur attack were incorrect. Apparently, they were just cats."

Compiled from wire and Web reports by Mr. Flip, who reports that no one ever reports anything Mr. Flip reports because Mr. Flip never reports anything.

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