Recent news stories have convinced me it's time for another Janet's World Current Events Poetry Column, where I attempt to make sense of what's being reported on the local and national scene through meticulously crafted verse with snappy end-rhymes.
But first, let me say that I understand your discomfort when you hear the word "poetry." Like me, you probably think, "But I spent a week reading T.S. Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock in high school, and I still don't know what in the blazes it means."
This is the problem with Eliot's poetry; it can be darn inaccessible, bogged down by obscure historical and literary references until some well-read Broadway producer tweaks it into the hit musical Cats.
Personally, I'm waiting for the Disney version of Milton's Paradise Lost.
At any rate, here in Janet's World, we follow the Hallmark Cards poetry model. Nonetheless, it should be pointed out that while my poetry is extremely accessible, the writing process is no doubt the very same one used by famous, lauded contemporary poets such as Billy Collins, Michael Glaser and Maya Angelou.
But that is the only similarity you will find in our work.
Sleep Soundly, American Child
Carry your teddy bear upstairs And tuck him in your room. Then say a little prayer, my child For children in Khartoum Who are not free, it seems to me To do so many things; Like name little teddy bears for Prophets, Gods or Kings.
The `B' Word
One of our own tossed out the word In reference to another; She used the word that rhymes with "witch," To speak of Chelsea's mother. She said it lightly, jokingly, But we all felt its weight; Referring to a female Presidential candidate. Regardless of your politics You must admit, I hope, That all name-calling should result in Mouths washed out with soap.
What Happened While We Talked About Legalized Gambling
O! Maryland, the mixed-up state On slots we'll endlessly debate. But while we fuss and compromise, Stealthily our taxes rise.
Don't Worry, I'm Pretty Sure There Was Another Guy, Long Ago, Who Was Once Cast Out When All He Tried To Do Was Serve His Community
Turned out of the Catholic fold For breaking bread with others - bold! Change comes slowly, I am told; Pray for priests who break the mold.
He might have been stilted, He might have been stiff; his Public persona still forming - But now we all adore Al Gore Who brought us global warming.
Contact Janet at firstname.lastname@example.org.