Osmond should hang up her dancing shoes

November 26, 2007|By SUN STAFF

She's been through a lot in the past few weeks - fainting on live television, her father's death and her son's entry into rehab - yet she's endlessly chipper.

But, frankly, we're pretty much over Marie Osmond and her inexplicably long run on Dancing With the Stars. Hardly any of the prognosticators on this sort of thing thought she'd make it to the finals because of her weak technique and simple choreography.

Sure, her fainting episode was memorable; too bad such a highly replayed moment had nothing to do with her skills on the dance floor.

And so, we present 10 reasons Marie Osmond must be stopped from winning Dancing With the Stars (airing at 8 tonight on WMAR, Channel 2):

1. The words "jive" and "Marie Osmond" should never appear in the same sentence again.

2. Lurking behind every Marie comeback is something much worse - younger brother Jimmy.

3. Still haven't forgiven the family for taking the rock out of "Jingle Bell Rock."

4. A wink and a smile shouldn't make up for flat feet.

5. Marie's no Kelly Monaco, and no one's looking forward to a post-win Playboy cover shoot.

6. They might invite Sanjaya to dance next.

7. Fear of the freakish phrase judge Bruno Tonioli would devise to describe her triumph.

8. Dancing is stealing time from her gig selling "fine porcelain collector dolls" on QVC.

9. Could lead to reunion with one-time beau John Schneider of Dukes of Hazzard fame.

10. Empowered by the win, the family (all 300,000 of them) could rise up and form a United States of Osmond.

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