Trace that bullpen call

O, BY THE WAY

The Kickoff

August 30, 2007|By BILL ORDINE

What if comedian Bob Newhart were the bullpen coach who answered the telephone when Orioles manager Dave Trembley called for help Tuesday night?

"RRRRIIINNNGGG: Hello, Orioles bullpen, it's your dime. Oh, hi, Dave, how are you? Oh, not so good, huh. Sorry to hear that Dave. ... Yeah, we can hear the booing out here, too. Well, you know what I say - just as long as they stay in the stands (chuckle). ... No, I guess it's not so funny. ... So, what can we do you for you, Dave? ... You need a pitcher? Well, Dave, I know that's why we're here, but this is the fourth time this inning. You know, it's not like there's a pitcher under every rock, Dave. ... What's that? Leo says he sometimes wonders whether some of ours crawled out from underneath one. ... Well, OK, let's see what we have here. ... A left-handed pitcher? No, Dave, we don't have any left-handed pitchers left. ... But I do have a groundskeeper here who is holding a rake in his left hand. I'm not sure about his breaking ball, but if you need a baseline freshened up, he's a dazzler, I'll ya. ... Yeah, well you have a good one, too, Dave. Bye."

bill.ordine@baltimoresun.com

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