Now the O'Malleys are putting on the dog


October 01, 2006|By LAURA VOZZELLA

Four kids. Two careers. One family dog. And one race for governor. How much chaos can a family handle? Apparently a lot. The O'Malleys have adopted a puppy from the pound. What were they thinking? If you suspect the Dems are trying to match Michael Steele's "I love puppies" campaign, think again.

"Everybody hates him except me and William," Katie O'Malley said. "Grace said this morning, `I hate that dog.'"

Two out of three O'Malleys want Scout out of the house, whether it's Government House or their current Walther Avenue digs. Why doesn't the 8-month-old Airedale terrier mix poll better?

"He is just bad," the District Court judge said. "I forgot about what puppies do. He ate a bunch of my shoes."

Which brings us back to: Why? O'Malley said she gave in to 8-year-old William's long-standing wish for a puppy on the "spur of the moment."

"Nobody could believe it. `What are you doing?'" she said. "It keeps my mind off the campaign. We're reading books about crate training instead of newspapers and stuff."

They think cat lovers don't vote?

Not since Richard Nixon's Checkers have dogs lapped up so much political attention. Steele claims to love puppies. Ben Cardin mocks him, but also lets us know he shares Steele's puppy love. (Cardin posed with one to promote the Puppy Protection Act of 1991.) If only all these campaign canines would go the way of FDR's Fala - all the way to the Aleutian Islands, without the alleged destroyer pick-up.

Tune in to Mystery Politics Theater makes another foray into Maryland politics, with "O'Malley Science Theatre." The spot is made in the style of Mystery Science Theater, the TV series that gave new life to really bad movies by adding a heckling human and two robots to the screen.

This time, the heckle vehicle is a faux O'Malley ad. It begins with images of JFK and the whole Camelot clan. "Not since the early '60s have we seen someone with such promise," a voice intones. "Martin O'Malley. He's made Baltimore a safer place to live."

"Compared to Bagdad, maybe," one robot quips.

The hecklers lob lots of smart-alecky asides about crime, high taxes and the like. But O'Malley delivers the worst blows to himself.

"Martin O'Malley is first and foremost a leader, speaking his mind in a forceful, direct way," the voice says. Cue footage of the mayor, responding to a reporter's question - we don't hear the query - this way: "Um, no, the uh, you know, I, the um, you know, whu."

The narrator goes on: "He speaks eloquently, lifting us to new heights." Cue clip from O'Malley's speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, when hizzoner seemed to be channeling Al Sharpton.

"America the beautiful, whose alabaster cities gleam UN-dimmed by human tears! OH! My friends! To GUUH-vurn IS TO CHOOSE!"

There's no authority line on the video, which for some reason doesn't pop up when you type in O'Malley. (You can find it at

It was created by someone with the youtube handle politiks666. Bob Ehrlich spokeswoman Shareese DeLeaver said her camp wasn't behind it. She said she's never even heard of Mystery Science Theater.

Connect the dots

Campaigning for Michael Steele sometime soon: boxing promoter Don King. So says Democrat for Steele Billy Murphy. Steele spokesman Doug Heye declined to comment. The lieutenant governor has connections to the world of boxing. His sister used to be married to Mike Tyson. ... The Holy Trinity and the Olympic triple come together next month, when Kimmie Meissner will help illuminate the exterior of the refurbished Baltimore Basilica. If you can't wait until November, pick up the new Harford County phone book. Meissner's mug is on the cover. ... The Dems were a few chairs short when Hillary Rodham Clinton appeared at a state party fundraiser last week. Among those relegated to the ballroom floor instead of the dais: Del. Anthony Brown. As the program began, the New York senator waved him up, The Sun's Jen Skalka reports. ... Maybe they won't fetch Brown a chair next time. After Steny Hoyer's long-winded introduction of O'Malley, Brown said: "I was going to take a page out of Steny's playbook. But I'll take all 15 pages."... I thought I might take some heat for referring to "goyim office-seekers" who offered Rosh Hashana greetings. But I figured as a gentile, I could get away with it. Someone has taken me to task after all: a Hebrew grammarian, who chided me for using a noun instead of an adjective (goyishe).

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