Dan, Tom, Katie impossible to miss in Monday night light

The Kickoff

September 13, 2006|By PETER SCHMUCK

Tom and Katie held hands like newlyweds while they watched the Washington Redskins from Daniel Snyder's box Monday night. No sign of the new baby, but it was just as well since Dan doesn't like to compete for attention.

Of course, for those of you who don't spend your time in the grocery line flipping through Us and People, I'm referring to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who became young Dan's new best friends when Tom signed a big production contract recently with a company controlled by Snyder.

They are a handsome couple, and Tom and Katie aren't bad, either. I know this because they got no shortage of face time on Monday Night Football.

I think it would have been more entertaining if Katie had shown up in the Redskins' locker room wearing only a towel - especially with ESPN's sister network already hyping the season premiere of Desperate Housewives - but it was nice to see America's most talked-about couple acting all warm and fuzzy while Dan outlined his newest plan for world domination.

It wouldn't surprise me if, after three hours sitting next to Dan, Tom rethought his position on anti-depressants, but at least he stayed seated throughout.

Mission unthinkable

Maybe Tom and Dan were brainstorming the screenplay for Mission Impossible 4, which I've heard involves a mysterious billionaire who pays the MI force to get the Redskins into the Super Bowl. The movie, like the first three in the series, will depend heavily on the cinematic concept known as "suspension of disbelief."

At least it's paperback

If you're keeping score at home, the Redskins leafed through Al Saunders' 700-page playbook and found a grand total of 16 points, which works out to one point for every 44 pages.

Future shock

I should have been in Vegas over the weekend, because I went 12-4 against the spread in the first installment of my weekly NFL picks. That total includes Thursday night's game, which I picked straight up in The Sun's staff picks, but you'll just have to take my word that I wasn't going to try to middle a three-point spread.

Strangely, I went only 11-5 picking straight up, which ties me with four other Sun writers for the early staff lead, though all I really cared about was beating celebrity prognosticator Chip Franklin of WBAL, who barely broke even at 9-7.

Shooting blanks

Giving credit where it is due, this statistic was first mentioned by Washington Post baseball writer Jorge Arangure Jr., who pointed out Monday that the five relievers who took the mound for the Orioles in Sunday's loss to the New York Yankees entered the game with a combined 2006 record of 0-18. That is not only amazing, but could well be unprecedented.

If you want to throw in starter Hayden Penn, the six guys who pitched Sunday went home a combined 0-20.

Humble stumble

Somebody wondered Monday night if the Yankees' comeback win was the "most embarrassing Orioles loss of the season." It probably ranked right up there, but I don't believe anybody is actually keeping that stat.

Heroes and zeros

Do you think Ray Lewis and Co. are salivating after watching the San Diego Chargers register nine sacks in Monday night's shutout victory over the Oakland Raiders, who have a short week before traveling to Baltimore to face the Ravens?

The Ravens won their opener, 27-0, and the Raiders lost their opener, 27-0, which is the kind of symmetry a team could get buried in.

Chasing Miggy

Trade rumors have resurfaced in Anaheim about Miguel Tejada, though nothing really has changed since the Los Angeles Angels made a bid to acquire him before the July 31 waiver deadline.

It would be no surprise if the Angels made another overture during the offseason, but if the Orioles didn't bite on any of the attractive proposals that were extended by the Angels, Los Angeles Dodgers and Houston Astros at midseason, there's little reason to believe they will be interested in moving Tejada this winter.

peter.schmuck@baltsun.com.

"The Peter Schmuck Show" airs on WBAL (1090 AM) at noon on Saturdays (2 p.m. this week).

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