Lawn care, with a match

July 30, 2006

A University of Maryland biosystems engineer wants farmers to burn switchgrass for fuel, Frank Roylance of The Sun reports. It grows any old where and doesn't require any tending. The energy from an acre of switchgrass is the same as that of 2,000 gallons of fuel oil. First we thought, "How do you suppose the front yard would look planted in switchgrass?"

Then we thought, "Why switchgrass?"

What's wrong with crabgrass? Or dandelions? Or that vine we can never remember the name of, that looks like it ought to pull out easily by the roots but doesn't? How about the mint that leaped out of the herb patch and is now waging its own insidious jihad throughout the backyard? Or the 47 billion leaves, come fall? Why can't we turn our yard into something - useful? Why can't we just burn it all, and feel virtuous about it? That has to be better than going out and taking care of it, when it's 98 in the shade.

Would lighter fluid be wrong?

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