It's time for Owens, McNabb to turn the page on their feud

July 23, 2006|By PETER SCHMUCK

Can't we all just get along?

It isn't even football season yet and Terrell Owens and Donovan McNabb are at it again.

Frankly, I expected Donovan to take the high road after T.O. re-ignited their running feud with his new tell-all book, T.O., but McNabb always seems to take the bait.

He labeled Owens' autobiography a "children's book" and disputed many of the revelations included in it during a media session Friday, as if there is anyone out there who needs to be reminded that T.O. is a major loon who would say just about anything to get on SportsCenter.

I can only chuckle at my own characterization of T.O.'s tome as a tell-all book, since it's not like he's been holding anything back over the past few years. The guy would tell you his ATM password if he ran out of stupid things to say.

Owens compared McNabb to the bully who spit in his mouth when he fell asleep on the school bus as a kid, which is a little more information than any of us really needed. McNabb responded derisively Friday, gleefully pointing out that T.O. recently claimed he was misquoted in his own book.

That's fair, I guess, but T.O. isn't the first superstar athlete to use a ghostwriter, and he isn't even the first one to disavow something that supposedly was in his own words. Charles Barkley claimed he didn't make one of the comments in his autobiography a few years ago, though it's hard to imagine there is anything that he hasn't said at least once.

It must be the heat. T.O. and McNabb aren't the only high-profile sports personalities who have been grating on each other lately. Toronto Blue Jays infielder Shea Hillenbrand and manager John Gibbons almost came to blows after Hillenbrand complained about his playing time and wrote a disparaging comment about the team on one of the bulletin boards in the Jays' clubhouse.

The situation became so bad that Gibbons reportedly told Jays management that he would quit if the front office did not get rid of Hillenbrand, who was subsequently designated for assignment and traded to the San Francisco Giants.

I know there are some people who wanted to see the Orioles show some interest in Hillenbrand, but I'm kind of glad he didn't come here. At 6 feet 1 and 211 pounds, he probably can take Sam Perlozzo.

If you're not glued to your television for the final round of the British Open today, you're going to feel left out when everybody is talking about it at the water cooler tomorrow.

Tiger Woods is back on top of the leader board, but Sergio Garcia shot a 7-under 65 yesterday to join Ernie Els and Chris DiMarco just one stroke back.

Though Tiger is 10-0 carrying the lead into the final round of a major, I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that Jim Furyk - two strokes back after shooting 66 yesterday - is the last man standing today.

I'm wondering just what to make of the report about the University of Miami football players who were involved in a shooting Friday morning. One player was shot in the buttocks, and a teammate warded off the attacker by returning fire.

Reserve safety Willie Cooper was not seriously injured, and police said teammate Brandon Meriweather acted legally when he pulled a handgun out of his pocket to shoot back at the unidentified gunman.

My take: I'm glad the kid was able to defend himself and his teammate, but aren't you supposed to be in the NFL before you start packing heat?

It's beginning to look like the NFL may have to abandon its pat-down policy at stadium turnstiles, which has come under legal attack in both Chicago and Tampa, Fla. Teams are instructed to perform a perfunctory search for weapons and explosives as fans enter stadiums, but a Florida court already has ruled that the pat-downs violate fans' Fourth Amendment protection against unreasonable searches.

Now, the issue has gone to federal court in the form of a civil suit brought by the Chicago Park District against the Chicago Bears.

I'm guessing the Constitution is going to trump the NFL, but you know that the same law firms that are contesting the post-9/11 pat-downs will line up to sue the Bears or Buccaneers for negligence if some nutcase gets through security with an explosive device.

For some reason that reminds me of my favorite lawyer joke, and with advance apologies to the local bar association, here it is:

Question: What do you call 100 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

Answer: A shortage of sand.

This weekend's funny headline from SportsPickle.com, the Maryland-based sports humor and satire site on the Web: 94-year-old Buck O'Neil takes two walks in minor league game, immediately signed by Billy Beane.

peter.schmuck@baltsun.com

"The Peter Schmuck Show" airs on WBAL (1090 AM) at noon on Saturdays.

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