IN HER SPRINGFIELD, OHIO, HOUSEHOLD, FAYE Houston grew up with the understanding that "God comes first, others second and me third."
As an adult, and then as a working mother with many personal pursuits, Houston didn't adhere strictly to that creed because it was a "recipe for being depressed," she realized.
Still, Houston, the retired chief of humanities at the Enoch Pratt Free Library, continues to wrestle -- guiltily -- with competing demands for her time.
A longtime member of the Episcopal Church of the Holy Nativity, she has spent the last several years helping to launch a community arts center in the Pimlico church's disadvantaged neighborhood.
Houston, 63, serves on the board of the Handel Choir of Baltimore, of which she is a member. She and her husband, Bill Fallowfield, a retired Episcopal priest, also attend to the "fairly dire needs" of 20 godchildren.
The Charles Village resident dreams of making a religious pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela in Spain with a friend. Houston's life, though, is crammed with obligations. She worries about her "limited years of the physical and mental ability to do this stuff."
In Baltimore, where privation is commonplace, volunteers are a necessity. But as Houston and any dedicated volunteer know, it is possible to devote endless hours to working with kids, feeding the hungry, staffing homeless shelters and still find that such efforts hardly make a dent.
Faced with these intractable problems, volunteers may also find themselves assuming more responsibilities than anticipated. Committees have a way of sprouting subcommittees. Tasks tend to generate more tasks. Offer to tutor a child once a week and the next thing you know, you're on the board of that tutoring program, writing grants to ensure its future.
In a culture where individual rights and the public good are often at odds, the question never abates: To what extent should citizens donate their time to others? It's a particularly pressing question in a place like Baltimore, where the need for assistance is so acute. The answer often eludes those such as Houston, who find themselves compensating for society's shortcomings, and deeply resenting the economic and educational inequities that leave so many behind.
Although they treasure the connections they make through their service, wise volunteers calculate imperfect equations for giving generously of themselves while learning how to safeguard their own well-being.
